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Hey Guys,
On behalf of my partner who has been going through court for the last year and a half. Try to keep it brief which is difficult but:
He gets to see his daughter (4) as per order (every other weekend with overnight and nights to be increased during easter and summer) but his ex is happy to manipulate the wording on the order or refuse contact as of when she feels like it and hes gone for an enforcement which got him nowhere! Now hes applied to vary the order so she can no longer manipulate the words and to have extended contact as part of the order and not an expectation because she will not increase the time unless its stated. He is also trying to get fathers day and his birthday on the order as he has never spent fathers day or his birthday with his daughter.
The problem is whenever they go to court his ex makes a new false accusation against him and they have gradually worsened. He said to the courts he is afraid of what could be next and shes accused him of domestic abuse, dv, assault (reported him to the police) his family as dv and mentally unstable and not looking after his child, accused him of hitting his child and now saying that he abuses me (his current partner) infront of their daughter which is certainly not true.
We're concerned because although his ex has no substance behind her accusations we know that she influences her daughter to think otherwise and when refuses contact tells her that dad doesnt want to see her. The daughter has come over saying daddy pushed mummy and thats not nice -but we have evidence that the mother has said those exact words to the child. (through a video from a pocket dial) and we have other evidence such as the daughter crying that she does not want to go back to mummys house and evidence on Fb that has been posted by the mother saying happy fathers day mum because hes a useless [censored]. Will they take this evidence into consideration to understand her true behaviour?
Will the cafcass and courts actually look into this evidence? And should such evidence be submitted? Its getting out of hand with her allegations and she always involves the child and tells her things that shouldnt be mentioned to a 4 year old!
On each occasion we have evidence against her accusations - will cafcass and the court actually consider it and will we be able to submit it to cafcass without the mother being aware because if she is not aware of the video and other evidence she will continue lying saying that she never told their daughter but if we have to send it to her she will be fully aware and im sure she will make another lie about it? Any help of how to handle the situation? And any additional info about s7 reports?
Hi there
Covert recording of a child gets mixed reactions from CAFCASS and the family court, and because of that it's very difficult to advise you on what to do for the best, but you can certainly share your concerns with CAFCASS about what the child is repeating, and the fact that she is exposed to adult themes and how it is affecting her.
Anything that you wish to rely on in court must be shared with all parties, CAFCASS will expect any evidence to be shared I'm afraid. You can discuss it with them, but they may not want to see it until it has been filed with the court. However you should be able to prepare a statement at some point and you can refer to your evidence and attach it to your statement so that the court can have sight of it.
You can also prepare a brief position statement to take with you to the next hearing, just a couple of pages, where you can share concerns and mention that you have evidence that you will take with you to the hearing if they wish to have sight of it, but you can't attach your evidence to it as the statement hasn't been asked for by he court.
As far as the S7 just be open and honest, try not to bad mouth the mother, if she is a good Mum you can say that, it's also ok to share your concerns, as long as you're calm and reasonable and don't come across as angry or with an agenda. Keep everything child focussed and show that you want to find solutions that will work for you all.
Best of luck
Thanks for the reply Mojo,
My partner has found it so hard that each time he tries to improve the order for their child and for them (to reduce conflict on how and when the child should spend time with him) she comes out with another allegation and i feel like hes slowly giving up because the courts seem to take her word and concerns far more seriously than his.
There is a pattern that each easter and summer she comes up with a new allegation to refuse contact or refuse to extend the overnight stays and this is the 3rd year in a row its happened. Hopefully they'll see there is a pattern?!
He has always kept it child focused, so we will continue that and explain how her actions are affecting the child.
I do feel so sorry for their child, because i don't believe the mother is seeing how much it really does affect her, its such a shame when you see the damage it is causing.
Not that i've been through it but heard CAFCASS can be daunting, i know my partner says he feels as though hes constantly being judged because they tend to speak to the mother first but ill pass on the message!
Thank you again for the support and advise!
...It is hard but stick at it, I know courts can seem one sided, but just keep chipping away and you'll get there hopefully.
It's a good idea to point out the pattern of behaviour, allowing them to draw their own conclusions... sow the seed and the seed will grow.
All the best
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