[Solved] Recently seperated

This is true. We have both asked each other or told each other what we are doing. I've assumed on her part, like me, it's just out of small talk and letting each other know if we will be staying in the house on that night. I don't expect her to have to justify to me what her plans are.

I don't know what to do, I've always turned to her for her advice, but I can't do that anymore. It's one of many things I have to stop myself from doing these day. I can't just text her with something silly one of the girls have done or said. I'm having to tell myself to try and think for just myself instead instead of both of us.

...it will take time to adapt behaviours and its perfectly understandable to feel the way you do right now. Have a chat with her about how you feel and maybe together you can both put some strategies in place to make the transition easier....she may be feeling the same way.

We are meeting for a coffee in the morning,hoping it will be productive and I can keep a level head, not get angry or upset. But I do need to try and be open and honest with her.

Oh boy! It's been my time two have two weeks back at the house and look after the girls, and Im clearly finding it much more difficult than I realised. I don't mean looking after my children, that's not a problem. I get them to school on time, feed, wash etc.

But coping... yeah, not so much. I'm not sleeping much more than a few hours, I just won't go to sleep. Seems I need to have a drink to help, I'm not talking black out drunk but one or two beers to ease it a bit. Eating, breakfast is fine, and I normally have some lunch but don't have an appetite come dinner, even if I'm cooking for the girls. And motivation continues to be a problem, I've not been to the gym in a few weeks despite working in the same centre.

My ex has been telling me to go to the gp and get help, but I don't see the point. What can they tell me that I don't already know- give it time, look after yourself, stay active etc.. the problem is I'm turning into someone I don't like.

My temper is considerably shorter than before, I find myself snapping at the girls more than I used to. But mainly I've become very unkind to the person who means the most to me. My ex has been trying to support me as realistically as possible and I'm thoughing it back in her face. Sure she hasn't been on top form recently either but not nearly as bad as me!

Like I said, she's pushing me to go to the gp, said she'll speak to my parents if she needs to- and I flip out, tell her not to dare go behind my back, don't tell me what to do. And this is how I respond! How I talk to a person who just wants to see me get better and is blaming herself for how I'm feeling. Makes me hate myself.
I don't know why but little things she says or does things have turned into huge arguments with unkind comments from both of us.

But today I think has been the worst. She was careless, sent me a lovey message that was meant for him. I don't need to go into what we both said and how bitter and vile we both were. But I think the damage I've caused today maybe too much. I don't know, hopefully she knows I'm struggling but me trying to say I'm sorry and I'm doing the best I can won't repair it. I've said it too often recently. Who knows, if we will ever be anything more than just civil now.

I don't try to have the arguments, but they seem to come from nowhere and get very heated , very quickly. I'm going back to my parents for the next two weeks and I can predict being calmer while I'm there, but then I'll be back here for the following two weeks and I see myself falling back into the same hole.

l'd strongly recommend going to see your GP with a view to getting counselling - it is surprising how much can be achieved by speaking to someone who knows what you are going through, and is at the same time completely objective - once you have got used to the idea (which may take a couple of sessions) it may calm you down - at the moment you are bottling everything up, so the slightest thing can set you off. If you can talk about this, it will make you much calmer.

I don't know, I'm not convinced and I feel like I would be wasting their time as I've got nothing medically wrong with me. Ive found someone I can talk to now, I think. She's going through a very similar situation which helps us both understand each other, and I've told her more in one conversation than I have anyone else in the last two months.

I feel better and calmer being out of the house and back at by parents, I'm considering the possibility of staying here instead of going back for my two weeks at the house. But it would mean seeing a lot less of my girls as there isn't the space here for them as well so I don't know.

The idea of going to see your GP was simply to be referred for counselling. You have found someone that you can talk to, and you can see the value of talking to someone, so you know it works. The question is whether this can continue without spoiling what seems to be a good friendship, in which case, that's very good. Otherwise, it might still be worth considering counselling as another outlet for you to be able to talk things through.

Glad you have found a way forwards though.