[Solved] PND?

I wouldn't rush so quickly into divorce. While she might be saying now that she never wanted the child, I wouldn't be surprised that if you did divorce, she would feel so bitter she wouldn't want you to have the child, and if that turns into a battle, you're not going to win. What you say makes logical sense, but that can get you in a lot of trouble in these situations !

Is she doing all the caring at the moment ? Can you get more involved ? Tell her you really appreciate everything she has been through and that the child is as beautiful as her.

Then go change the baby's nappy, give the child a bath, wash some bottles, prepare her some formula, and enjoy every minute of it. I guarantee you it will be a lot more fun than a divorce/custody battle.

Don't rush into life changing decisions, take a minute to breath calmly and do the best for your child. Whatever you are going through now, things will look a lot different in a few months time, so don't rush into a decision you won't be able to reverse later. Just take a deep breath, tell your wife you appreciate the hard times she has been through and stay calm at all times.

Are you sure she's not fielding this as a reason, to avoid having to talk about what's really going on? I still think there must be some underlying psychological issues going on with her.

How was she during pregnancy? How was she before she got pregnant, was she keen to start a family? Did she give you any idea that she never wanted children?

Many women return to work within months of having their baby, it's not a mothers lot to be tied to the kitchen sink anymore.... it's ok to say that motherhood isn't fulfilling, I wouldn't make any hasty decisions, it's only been a few weeks since the birth, hopefully things will settle and she will come round.

It might help to talk to family about taking on some of the child minding, as a grandparent I get a great deal f pleasure from looking after my grandkids.

All he best

@superprouddad

I certainly won't be rushing in to anything don't worry! 🙂 I would never want, in an ideal world, for my daughter to have to split her time between us. I don't want to be a "weekend" dad either.

Yes, she does all the 9-5 caring at the moment, which I fully appreciate how hard, challenging and draining it can be. That's why the moment I get in from work, I get changed and do everything. Feeding, changing, bathing, bed time routine, wash bottles, prepare formula, do all the night feeds - and I'm more than happy to do all that. I'd do more if I could and wish I didn't have to come to work.

I tell her all the time how amazing she is, how well she's doing and that I understand it's hard but it never seems like it's taken on board - almost like she thinks I'm just paying lip service.

@mojo

I don't know. I suspect there might be an underlying issue. She was always glass half full or glass half empty. No bi-polar but always one extreme. Sometimes its like walking on eggshells with her. When we first started dating we spoke about having kids, when we got married she wanted to wait a bit for her career which I was happy to do. She wanted to wait until after her sister got married (last year) which I did, having waiting 12 years anyway, and was fine being pregnant - the usual concerns, fears but nothing that warranted any concern.

She won't accept help either and that's part of the problem. She thinks it's a sign that she can't cope. She's too bothered about what people think, and about people judging her. I've tried and lost on many occasions to win that battle!

Just going to have to tough it out until June/July and go from there.

In the meantime, I'll do my research and keep all my options open.

Thanks chaps

I just thought I'd update this a little to say all is now well.

I think a combination of emotions/sleepless nights/ overwhelmed at the new situation all played their part.

My little girl is now 4.5 old and is an absolute delight! Giggles and smiles all the time and has just (touch wood it continues) started sleeping all night (10-12 hour stretches!!)

That's wonderful news, we're not all instant parents and some of us have to work at it... Newborns are very demanding, but once the real little person starts to emerge and we get rewarded with lots of smiles and giggles all is forgiven! It's seems it's just taken you wife a little longer to connect.

Best of luck and thanks for the update.