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[Solved] not sure what to do

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(@lurch)
Active Member Registered

hi everyone
i do not know what to to do for the best
my other half lives in bristol and i live in southend 180 miles away
my kids live in southend and i see a lot of them
by i am going to lose my other half because we can not keep paying to travel to each other
do i stay here for my kids but be unhappy or move away to be with the women i love

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 06/01/2013 12:21 am
(@lurch)
Active Member Registered

my kids are 5 8 and 12 years old

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 06/01/2013 12:25 am
(@lugo35)
Trusted Member Registered

only you can make that decision... im in Newport just over water from Bristol. but my ex moved to Scunthorpe 220 miles. my kids are 6 and 8 miss them so much. having problems with access at the mo but I feel I have to try to see them all I can , in reality I see them every 6-8 weeks if im lucky. my partener is expecting my 3rd in a few weeks . so could easily start afresh and not see the other to, but for me its not an option. should never be unhappy but kids need there dad even part time if that's all can be done. would your partener move????

lugo

ReplyQuote
Posted : 06/01/2013 2:42 am
lurch and lurch reacted
(@lurch)
Active Member Registered

that is what worries me only being able to see the kids much only in school hoildays
and should i put the kids before my happyness
no she can not move here as she has familey where she is

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 06/01/2013 2:55 am
(@dad-i-d)
Noble Member Registered

its the hardest decision you can face as a dad......your needs over what really is the best for your kids! your ex doesn't really care about you she's sorting her own life out...mine is!! but they don;t think really for one min what affect it will have on your kids! they just do what they want to suit themselves....and you're then left here.....in no mans land

best thing you can do is your very best and make sure your kids know you've done everything in your power to stay a part of there lives......then if it breaks down at least you can say to them you tried your best

ReplyQuote
Posted : 06/01/2013 4:05 am
lurch and lurch reacted
(@lurch)
Active Member Registered

after talk with my other half she thinks it will not work me moving to her so it dose not look like i will be going any where :boohoo:

so now i am left here alone and my kids mum being a [censored] to me i feel what ever i do i lose

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 06/01/2013 3:12 pm
(@lugo35)
Trusted Member Registered

we have all been there. maybe for the best, you will meet someone hopefully nearer ( corny and heard it all before but its true). sounded like a very quick decision by her?? would keep talkin if you think its worth it

ReplyQuote
Posted : 06/01/2013 6:00 pm
lurch and lurch reacted
(@lurch)
Active Member Registered

she was going to move here but place we where going to get went tits up
and she thing it will all go wrong if i go there and move from the kids i have all said i could not move from my kids
but my ex is on about moving only about 40 miles away but i am out of work so could not be able to see much of them
if i stay or go
i am in a very dark place right now 🙁

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 07/01/2013 2:40 am
(@lugo35)
Trusted Member Registered

chin up mate . keep talkin .

ReplyQuote
Posted : 07/01/2013 10:08 pm
lurch and lurch reacted
(@lurch)
Active Member Registered

i am trying i know i have for the kids but it is get hard
my ex is a [censored] and uses the kids as a wepon lie to them and every else
i just feel there is no point i have no fight left

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 08/01/2013 1:54 am
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

Hi Lurch

I've been there as well - the girl I was going out with (who I adored) after I left my ex decided that there wasn't a future and ended the relationship. I remember the date very clearly - 10th September 2001, because the following day, the 9/11 attacks happened and I was so numb, that those attacks had no affect on me at all at the time.

Almost 12 years on, I have now been married for coming up for 10 years to my gorgeous wife, my kids now live with me and life couldn't be better. It was a long haul, and there were times when I didn't think it would ever get any better, but it does.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 09/01/2013 2:18 am
lurch and lurch reacted
(@Goonerplum)
Noble Member Registered

Wow it sounds like you are going through a tough time but it's great that you get to see your kids regularly.

I would keep talking to other half, maybe there is a compromise you can come to on location.

How are you doing today?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 09/01/2013 2:24 am
lurch and lurch reacted
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