[Solved] Newborn with split parents

Hey and welcome to the forum 🙂

You will find many people in the same boat on this site going through the same, The law states that every child has the right to both parents in heir lives and it doesn't really matter if you are or are not on the birth certificate as this just means you have or haven't got Parental responsibility.

Parental responsibility just means you have a right to choose schools, be updated on medical issues ect there is nothing set out in stone about how much contact you should expect with your child but you can go to court to gain better access than your currently allowed.

The pretty basic contact you get in the long run (when the childs old enough) is one weekend fri-mon and maybe 1 night mid week, if you go through the courts for an "child arrangements order" they usually start contact short and regular say for an hour or two each week then build it up over time and once you build up to what i said earlier that is it set in stone until the child is 16.

Before you apply to the courts you need to give mediation a go so this should be your first point of call, find a local mediator and invite your ex to attend to see if you can thrash out an agreement save you going down the court route, mention this as your intention and see what she says but beware womens hormones are all over the place when they've just given birth so tread carefully but don't leave it forever I so wished I had started the ball rolling earlier then I wouldnt of missed out on my daughters first year of life.

Good luck 🙂

Thank you very much for your advice.

I'd rather not go through the courts as it would just stain everyone. Just wanted to know roughly what the 'norm' is (if there ever is a norm).

Didn't realise they see 1 or 2 hours a week enough...blows my mind.

Thank you again. 🙂

...it seems to me that your ex is being reasonably fair at the moment, although I think through mediation you might be able to come up with a parenting plan that would mean more contact than she is offering right now.

I would accept what is offered for now but perhaps speak to her about getting a parenting plan in place for the future. There are some templates for parenting plans in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section, have a read through and maybe print a couple off and try and discuss what you would both like to put into the agreement. If she won't budge then mediation would be the next step, here's a link to the mediation service

www.nfm.org.uk

Yeah if you can avoid court all together and come to an agreement with the Mum then that will be best if you can't come to an agreement then try mediation, Women are very possessive of there newborns and many blank out the fathers and seem to forget it takes two to make a baby and it takes two to bring a child up I was lucky in some repects as I got to spend a month bedding down with my girl when she was born and I took over night feeds it was the best time of my life but being stopped from seeing her for nearly 10 months wasn'y I was literally forced to go through the courts, it is [censored] but I know once its sorted its sorted.

Thanks both for the advice. I really appreciate it.

I thought i was getting a sh*t deal with 1 evening a week and an hour for a coffee on a Saturday, seems I'm getting an ok deal. Just hard to take, when all i want to do is be there for him.

Thanks again.

...I would continue to push for more...it is a Sh*t deal but at least you are seeing him and this can be built on hopefully. As Slim says, new mothers can be very possessive and overly protective, give her a little time but then let her know that contact needs to be increased and keep pushing for an agreed schedule of increased contact.