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Hi All, This is a little complicated so please be patient.
I have 3 children, they are all boys aged 6 and under, I split up with the mother in April of last year (2013) and declared myself gay! Since then, I have met and moved in with a guy who is (not to be cheesy) my soul mate.
We have the children every other weekend from Friday night until Sunday evening. It has been a struggle and the mother has become increasingly difficult to deal with and cut a mid-week contact to make us pay more through the CMS,
During the course of the past year or so, my mum, dad and brother have all been in contact with the mother, facetiming the children, chatting etc. I found out the other week that my mum had offered to have the boys over New Years and have arranged to pick the boys up and drop them back off again all at their own expense without coming through me at all.
I have spoken to my mum at great length about this and asked her to make arrangement through me, but she is insisting on keeping 'the door open' with the mother encase she needs it in the future. My mum is a very, erm, opinionated woman who doesn't really take advice of anybody whom she doesn't agree with, so she isn't listening to my point of view. It is getting out of hand - even to the point where my brother partner is adding the mothers new partner as a friend of Facebook - which sounds a little silly I know, but surely it’s the principle right?
Because my family are so intent on keep a relationship with the mother, they are neglecting me and particularly me new partner who somewhat feels alienated and of the mind that "They would rather like her than me" which in turn is causing bad blood between him and my parents! I am stuck in the middle trying to make everyone happy.
I guess out of this comes a couple of questions I would like some people’s opinion on...
1) Do people think it is normal for grandparents and brothers to have an active friendship with my ex especially considering she has withdrawn contact for financial reasons and has done a lot of other stuff to the point where I now have no desire to speak to her apart from where the boys are concerned.
2) From the boys point of view - should they learn a distinction between their 'Mummies' family and 'Daddies' family and contact my family when I have them on my weekends?
3) How much contact is normal for grandparents to have with children whose parents have split up? (They live in the Isle of Wight FYI)
Any advice would be welcomed
Many thanks
Gavin
Hi and Welcome,
You are in a similar possition to myself.
It's so difficult as like you say you are stuck in the middle.
I will send you a private message now.
GTTS
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