[Solved] Need sensible advice, marriage vs seperation

I'm in need of some sensible, considerate advice here.

The story:

My wife and I are having a relationship breakdown. Due to circumstances which are completely unrelated to this we have been living in different countries for nearly 3 months now. (this is for work)

We've had serious issues in our relationship for about a year but it has been happening before as well.

We used to be great together. had plans to get married. then ran into some trouble and quite a few fights. We thought maybe it was better to cancel the marriage plans until at least we could work this out. It wasn't anything too serious back then and we we're confident we could solve it in time.

However, my wife became pregnant. We we're very happy of course and decided to push our marriage plans forward. We got married when she was 3 months pregnant.

Throughout the pregnancy our relationship overall went pretty well. We had one major fight and I ended up sleeping in an empty apartment owned by her family for about a week.

We solved that and in April 2017 we became proud parents.

As we were at the time living in Romania for my job we thought it would be good if I started looking for a new job in the UK where my wife always wanted to live after she had studied there about 10 years ago.

I was not really that interested in moving. I thought we were doing pretty well in Romania.
Anyway, she insisted so I started applying for jobs in the UK.

To prepare for the move we first moved in with her mother so we could find tenants for our house. We were both at home with our son all the time and spend a lot of time with each other. It was then that we found out there was a lot of friction between us. Escalating to a certain point where we had a massive fight and she punched me in the face. I don't remember what the fight was about. something trivial like usual...

shortly after that I moved alone to the UK 1 month ahead of her and the baby to find us a house. when she arrived in the UK mid september last year she immediately started complaining she didn't like England. She twisted the story that I made us move there.

We had a decent time there but fights became more frequent after a few months. My wife was getting more and more unhappy with being in England and started wanting to move back to Romania. In the meantime I had found a new and better paid job which I started in March this year.

in April, 10 days after my sons birthday my wife moved back to Romania as she really did not want to stay in the UK anymore. The plan being that I will move to Romania as well mid July after completing a project for work which will allow me to move to Romania and keep my job to work from home once I'm there.

While all this was happening, during our stay together in the UK our relationship became more and more strained. Fights did become less frequent and less "aggressive" but where we used to fight before at times and then resolve it, now we started fighting less but also not resolving them anymore. The love between us was dying out.

At the same time I met a girl at work. We we're just colleagues, then through working together everyday we became friends. Now there are serious feelings developing between us. Nothing has happened because I don't want to cheat on my wife. I have a very sincere dislike for cheating. She has a boyfriend and they were supposed to get engaged but their relationship, after moving in together is also not going well and she has her own reasons for doubting the validity of that relationship. Something I won't involve myself in.

Now, last night we've been out together. Nothing serious we just went for food after work and then went to see Deadpool 2. Both of us respect our relationships so while there was a little hand holding involved at a point, nothing else happened. After the movie we talked about this "hand holding" and agreed we shouldn't have done that. We also talked about our relationships, each explaining the problems they have.

In my opinion this "date" was really innocent. I mean, seriously, we're all adults and we can recognize our feelings and are mature enough to take responsibility. So going to see a movie together without any bad intentions is nothing bad.

I've however realised beforehand that it would be better not to tell my wife about this. Not because of any bad intentions, not because I wanted to do anything disrespectful, and definitely not because I want to lie to her. However, I didn't see any reason to get my wife worried. I know full well for myself that I went into that movie without any bad intentions. I want to stay with my wife. We have a son and I have a responsibility for him and in my opinion, if you get married you make a vow and no matter how difficult it is to keep that, no matter what feelings for other people may arise, you have to keep that vow. Otherwise it becomes meaningless.

Unfortunately my wife would never understand the possibility that a husband can go out with another girl even if he may have developed some feelings for her, that it's possible to be emotionally mature and understand that these feelings happen to everyone who's married and they ussually pass anway. and you can just be friends with that person. Seriously. I value marriage and family above everything else so for me it is very clear that this is just friendship. Humans may not be able to choose what they feel but they can choose what they do. And I choose not to act on those feelings and instead just enjoy my evening out after spending more than 2 months now away from my family doing nothing more than working all the time.

I also need some distraction occasionally. I don't have any male friends in the UK so I went with her.

Anyway, I told my wife we we're having a team building. I hated lying but if I told her I went just with this 1 girl she would lose her mind. And as said there isn't any reason for that because I am faithful.
So I explained a couple of days before that we we're going to have a team night out. Starting with some food and drinks and then going to see Deadpool 2. I kept it as close as honest as possible because I seriously hate lying. This also meant that she knows I am in the cinema and I can't use my phone there.

Now comes the real fucked up bit:

The evening before the night out (I say night but I was home at 21.30) We were skyping. My wife had a bad day as she had to go around the city for some paperwork issues. So, she was tired in the evening when we were talking. Tired and in a bad mood. I could see this and as it was already late I told her that maybe she should go to bed to get some rest and we would talk in the morning.

She did not reply anything for about 15 seconds. We're having connection issues all the time with Skype so I thought maybe she couldn't hear me and I said: Hello?

This was for her a reason to go absolutely crazy. She started shouting at me all sorts of really mean things, intended to hurt my feelings. When she gets angry like that she just wants to hurt feelings...
I had enough of this. Really. I know that when i continue any conversation with her when she reaches that stage it only gets worse so I told her: Okay, let's talk again in the morning when you feel a bit better. She insulted me again so I hung up.

She called me back straight away with more shouting. I hung up again. Again she called me. Saying: I'll divorce you if you hang up again! So I let her talk. Which was pointless because she always has the same tirade so I just said there waiting for her to get it out of her system. When she was done I said again let's talk in the morning. Then she just hung up and went offline.

The next morning I wrote her a good morning message. It took 4 hours to get a reply. I asked her how her day was. (her timezone is 2 hours later) she said "good" I told her again that in the evening I won't be able to use my phone and asked if she wanted to call on Skype before I left work. She said: no, we can skip a day. I told her okay I will call you tomorrow (with the kiss emoji thing) She just said: bye.

So obviously she did not want to talk to me. So after work I went out. I switched off my phone at the cinema, as is the normal thing to do and enjoyed the movie.

After we left the cinema I switched my phone back on to find that she had called me 20 times and wrote me on messenger asking me where I am. why don't I answer the phone. She then wrote that once I move to Romania in 3 weeks she doesn't want me to move in with her. One hour later she wrote again asking where I am and then she said she wants a divorce.

Now, on my part. I didn't go with the team I only went with 1 girl. But as explained there wasn't any bad intention and nothing happened. I was just with a friend. I was however exactly where I told my wife I would be. I told her I was gonna switch off my phone at the cinema. so She knew exactly that I wasn't gonna answer her calls.

She didn't want to talk with me the entire day but exactly at the time when she knew my phone would be switched off. She started calling me and writing me these messages.

Now, I do not want a divorce. Same as I don't want to cheat on her. But, these actions, calling me when she knows my phone is off, and then writing she wants a divorce. it's just another thing on a long list and I think this may have been the last thing I am willing to accept. With all of her fighting, seriously, she fights over anything. Sometimes over literally nothing. I would just be in the house doing everyday stuff like cooking dinner or whatever and she just starts a fight out of the blue.

It's become very hard for me to actually feel any love for her anymore. But I love my son and he deserves a father. So even if I don't want to be with her I have the obligation to be a father for my son and kids need both parents.

Now she is threatening with a divorce again. She's been doing so nearly every time she starts a fight. I don't think she actually even wants a divorce she just thinks she can scare me into doing what she wants.

I used to get really upset. then angry, now I just don't care anymore. they're empty threats. The thing is that this time, I've started thinking about a divorce...

I don't like thinking about that.

The honest thing is, it would probably make me much happier if we get divorced. That would remove all the fighting from my life and perhaps opens the doors to be in an actually healthy relationship. I just can't. I cannot abandon my son like that.

So here is where I need advice:

My obligation and responsibility is with my family. How can I avoid a divorce and at least have peace with my wife so we can raise our son in a caring environment?

And, what if she actually wants a divorce this time, I cannot exactly force her to remain in our relationship if she doesn't want to. If that scenario were to arise, What could I do then? pay alimony, see my son only sparingly? Even if I would get together with someone else, I don't think I could ever really feel happy knowing I am not the father my son deserves.

I find myself in a situation where neither outcome would make me happy.
Staying with my family is what I HAVE to do for my son. but I don't enjoy being with my wife anymore.
Leaving my wife means I could be with someone i love. but i HAVE to stay with my family.

This obligation and responsibility for my son is the most important thing for me.

I would love some advice on how I can be the father my son deserves and also not be miserable with a woman I don't love anymore.