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So i'm currently living with my partner, my 18 month old and my 6 week old sons. But I simply cannot be with her any longer, for my own sanity and peace of mind. I've posted on here previously for advice on what to do regards my partner, who I maintain is emotionally abusing me, but it's just such a hard thing to prove. I would have left sooner, but she fell pregnant... and if i'm honest, the only reason I still haven't left, is because of the kids.
However, I just can't do it anymore. I'm done with being controlled, snapped at, shouted at, treated like sh*t and basically being made to be her slave. It's been like this for years now. I feel trapped. I feel alone. Life is too short for this, but the thought of being away from the kids is a killer. I know i'll eventually be able to have them every other weekend at least, but she will fight me every step of the way for no reason other than spite. Ironically, she'd be screwed emotionally, physically and financially without me... she doesn't have a pot to p*ss in, and is so heavily reliant on all that I do, she won't cope.
So I need out. But how? We rent (which I pay for) but it's in both our names. As are all the bills. The rent contract is due beginning of Feb 2019, so i'm not sure if the expectation is to continue to pay this if I no longer live there, because how could I then afford to get a place of my own? I know my partners expectation is that I provide a roof over hers and the kids heads, so I should continue to pay for rent and bills. I'd pay childcare based on what the CMO tell me I have to pay, but do I need to pay anything over and above that?
Once a case is opened with CMS, you only need to pay what they determine, and there is no obligation for you to pay over this. If the rental contract ends in Feb, then I would speak to the landlords and tell them that you don't wish to renew, though your partner may wish to continue in her own name.
But really, before you do all of this, you need to sort it out with your partner so that you can both try to plan what is bet for your children's sake.
Hi there
I agree with actd, your first step should be to talk to the landlord. If you were to leave she would be entitled to claim housing benefit to cover the rent and council tax, And income support for day to day living. Hopefully the landlord will agree to a new tenancy in her name only, but you would need to look into the level of housing benefit she would be entitled to, there is a top limit and anything above that has to be found by the claimant.
There are many singles mums that manage on benefits, which are bumped up by maintenance payments from the non resident dad.
Once you’ve left the living expenses are her responsibility, but there’s nothing to stop you helping with extras like clothes for the kids, if you were in a position to do so.
All the best
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