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About three weeks or so ago my wife suffered her second miscarriage. (The first occurred earlier this year.) As before, the whole thing was pretty traumatic for her but this time she has become obsessed with the idea that I'm having an affair. I'm not. Never have done and have no intention of ever doing so. (Although I appreciate that no one ever has the intention of having an affair.)
First miscarriage was a shock. We went for our 12 week scan and found out that the 'baby' was so damaged that it had died. The fallout was understandably horrible for my wife as she had to undergo a removal operation and the accompanying hormonal & physical twists. This time around we had an inkling something was wrong and her GP sent her for an early scan to put her mind at rest. Unfortunately the 'baby' was showing as smaller than it should have been and with a slower than expected heartbeat. We had to wait a week but the second told us the worst. The 'baby' had died.
Again, we went through the removal procedure but this time the emotional chaos my wife is going through has focused on my having a mythical affair. She has become hugely paranoid about my actions and has taken to checking my Facebook chats & posts, quizzing me about where I am and who I'm with (I'm mostly at work) and generally giving me a very hard time. I get phone calls at work asking me to explain things and cold shouldered at home if I mention something that sets her off.
Eventually I'll be told that she loves me and that it's just a difficult time for her but... It's REALLY getting to me. I'm walking on eggshells the entire time. I don't know if this will just stop and things will go back to how they were or is this it for now?
Hi BC1973,
Sorry to hear about the miscarriage. My ex and I experienced miscarriage so I know that it is stressful for both of you.
Your Wife must be topsy turvey with hormones which wont help things.
My suggestion is that you continue to talk and be understanding and transparent with respect to facebook, mail etc. If she wants to check let her.
I would also suggest that you both consider counselling. relate or something more specialist on this occasion, to try and help your Wife through the trauma and help you both understand hat the other is going through.
Just my 2 cents.
Regards,
Dave
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