Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
My wife asked me to move out with no exceptions. im 24 and been married for going on 5 years. We have 2 boys aged 4 & 1. She wanted to separate because things dont work between us anymore. I work shifts at very unsociable times ranging from starting 4.30am in the morning to finishing at 1am constantly flipping from early middles and lates so that is a struggle in its self. My wife states a big reason is because i dont help much with the kids but i do everything she asks i understand she needs a break too. I pay all the bills but she claims i dont but doesn't have any proof to back up the claim but still insists it. I'm at my wits end there is no compromise. She has showed no emotions intimacy or interest in our relationship for about 2years i have tried hard to get her to make her feel loved but no results... I accept that it maybe time to move on even though i dont want to. We were joint tenants so that complicated things even more with me trying to find council accommodation as we both had to end the tenancy agreement she now has to appeal to stay but im receiving no help to find anywhere fast im still in the spare bedroom. I dropped down to part time work 2weeks ago to try and spend more time and try and rekindle things but it backfired because it just seems all she wants is for me to pay all her bills pay for shopping etc while in return all i get is abuse off her. I have nowhere else to go. I don't know which way to turn
Hi there
...2 years is a long time to try and get your relationship back on track, I would say that you have done as much as you can do in the circumstances. Splitting up is always so hard, especially when children are involved. Do you have any family that can help out to start off with?
Are you able to go back to full time hours? It might be that you will have to rent privately, as a single man I don't think the council will be obliged to rehouse you, and if that's the case you will need to save for a deposit.
Do you think Relate might help, they could help with couple counselling but they are also very good at helping couples through the transition of break up. Here's a link
www.relate.org.uk
Best of luck
Hi There,
I agree with Mojo,
I think that trying for 2 years shows you have done all you can that with dropping to part time to be at home more and that back firing shows that actually as hard as it is it's time to call it a day, as Mojo has suggested relate may help, it may be too late to resolve the relationship and stay together but it may help with the seperation, it would give you both chance to be open with each other in a safe envioroment so you both know where you stand, and if that's something you would consider then I would talk to your partner and sell it as a way to seperate on nice terms rather than rebuild the relationship as it sounds as though she has decided it's over.
I don't think the council would home you as they work on a points system, the higher the points the more chance of getting somewhere, being a single bloke without children residing with you would score you very low unfortunetely, I think family would be your best option until you can raise enough for a depsosit.
I know how hard this must be for you as you don't want it to end and it's going to take a lot for that to sink in, but from my experience once things move in that direction and you get some space between the 2 of you things normally start to feel much better, you start to realise how bad things really were instead of burrying your head in the sand and just muddling through.
Things will get better.
GTTS
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.