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My stepson who i raised since the age of four because his real dad didnt want to know has got a girlfriend and shes poison before her we were a happy family who would do anything to help one another but then she came along our son hasnt been the same since she hates him having contact with us and its so bad that even if we send him a message on social media he deletes it before she can see it he lies constantly to us promises to come and see his little brothers but then says he wont visit us unless we stop blaming everything on his girlfriend i wont have her in the house anymore because she just causes so much trouble its not like we havnt tried we even let her stop here when she fell out with her mum our son has been in the army since he was 17 nearly 2 years we are so proud of him but we cant show him because she hates it so stops us seeing him we would do anything for our kids but all this trouble along with the drama she causes is making me and my wife argue and its not fair on our other kids i just dont know what to do for the best anymore how much more can we take or do we shut the door and hope one day he will see sense i just dont know. Ps sorry if the grammar is wrong
Hi There,
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It's a difficult one as he is an adult and can make his own decisions and his own mistakes but you want to guide him to do what is best all around.
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If you have spoken with him and it hasn't made any difference then maybe all you can do is allow him to live his life and as you say when he realises he misses you or if things go wrong be there for him.
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GTTS
Do you have any interests in common? If so, perhaps you come to an agreement that sometimes you spend time with him sharing that interest. If not, perhaps the occasional time out together in a pub or somewhere similar (ie neutral territory).
Hi there
Even though he's classed as an adult, he's still very young and I think his actions show his immaturity. I think you have to give him some space, let him know that you all love him unconditionally and that the door is always open, tell him you respect his decision and the choices he makes, but hope with all your heart that this situation will sort itself out so that you can be a close family again.
For the time being, concentrate on the rest of your family, your other kids and your wife need things to get back to normal. I always found it useful to call a family meeting and decide together what to do about the situation, if it's a joint decision then you will all cope with it better.
All the best
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