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I have been separated for 2 1/2 years from my wife and now am moving on I have met someone we love each other so much just feel our both exs are trying destroy it how do I stop it? My girlfriend is worried about my kids they have an attitude and they related to my girlfriend children but get on really well just worried when I tell them am with her and they recent me and hate me but my happiness comes first and I would pick my girlfriend cause she is the one for me please help!
It is normal for things to become unsettled when new partners come on the scene, give it time and hopefully things will settle in time.
Maybe try and spend some one to one time with your children and attempt to talk to them about how they are feeling. Perhaps they need reassurance from you that your relationship with them isn't going to change? They might respond better if you take things at their pace and gradually try to let them build their own relationship with your new partner.
I have to disagree with you that your happiness comes first though, the children in these situations need to come first and as a parent and an adult it is up to you to try and resolve the issues that arise and make sure they are okay.
Hi There,
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If you're new partners children are related to you're children then maybe some time together without them knowing you are a couple first would be good, allow them to become comfortable with you're partner and her children before they hear you are together, if they are related then it shouldn't take long for them to start to be ok with spending time with them.
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Don't forget the 1-2-1 time with them though as Yoda has said as if you just jump in and spend all your time with your partner and her children and none just with them then it could back fire when you tell them as they will realise it was kept from them.
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I agree also with Yoda, you're children should come first and you should be doing everything you can to ensure they are ok, that doesn't mean not moving on or having your own life, but enuring that you move slow enough for them to adjust and be ok with things, it's not about picking between you're partner or children, but it may be about keeping the 2 lives seperate for a while if you're children don't accept the change.
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GTTS