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Hi Warrior,
Whilst I'm glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better about things and coming to terms with the issues, it's a little concerning to hear that your wife is potentially still messaging people and being underhand about it...
Whether innocent or otherwise, she must surely understand that this is not going to aid in rebuilding the trust between you, or in stabilising the relationship.
I think you need to focus on what you want. Give yourself time to chill out over Christmas, don't overthink things, worry about the what's, if's and buts or any of that - just have some time to enjoy yourself... And after Christmas, think things through properly and sit down and talk with your wife and clarify the situation.
My personal feelings (and these are just my feelings, not advice!) as someone who went through the same thing, and tried to "make it work" for 4 years... The relationship needs both people to be committed, respectful and honest, if you're trying to make it work, but your wife is still repeating the same behaviours - it show's a lack of respect to you, your feelings, and the relationship... and I'd be looking at drawing a line, however you feel it best to do so.
I hope you get it sorted out Warrior, and as always, if you need an ear, feel free to drop me a message.
All the Best, BD.
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