[Solved] Marriage break up

Morning all,

Well yesterday I had my first Councilling session, went really well and gave me some ideas and made me look at things from different angles.
Got to collect the rest of my stuff tomorrow, councillor told me to look at it as a new beginning and not an end. I will try!.
Also video tapes go tomorrow, again look at as its old stock and when I get back to my flat I can start a stemmed streamlined version with a more specific angle.
So I will try that as well!.... Not sure yet if this will get me through it, but I got to be strong.
Not had any contact with ex since Friday, she sent a few emails, just regarding collecting and the videos.
Feels like she needed confirmation on things, stuff that I had already told her.... So sort of felt like she's playing games.... Not sure.
But she is adamant this is over.
I did put in one email. Was she sure this is what she wanted to happen....
Last night went out with an old school friend, female, was a nice evening, a couple of drinks and a good catch up.
She has been through two marriages also so lots to talk about!.
Think we are going to go out again next week.
She is pretty, and fun.... But hey I think I am just going to go with the flow, I am just to raw at the moment to think about new relationships.

So also taking this week off, doctor said don't do anything that will add to your stress, and the same from councillor.
So work are fine, got doc note.
So just need to get tomorrow out of the way.

Thanks
Goatjazz

Morning everyone,

So today is the day I collect all my last belongings and the videos go to the new buyer .
It's going to be a horrible day.
Already dreading it.
It is the final goodbye, I might never see her again.
Already crying.

Best of luck, as painful as it will feel, you might be able to move on once this is done.

Many thanks.
Yes hopefully it will help heal me.
Just don't any to do it but I'd got to be done.
She did reply to my text, ......i stupidly sent this morning, I just said I didn't want to do this and was crying and this might be the last time I see her..... She replied with " this is going to be difficult day for both of us and to try and be dignified and do it with respect"....
So that's what I will do..... Tho I probably will break down.

Let you know later... Not going until 2pm

Goatjazz

Well I made it.
Just lol.
Collected my stuff, bloke came for the videos, sat outside ex house after I loaded my van, waited for three hours for this bloke go turn up....i tell you, you couldn't make it up!....still I used her WiFi whilst on the van lol.
What a [censored] day....
Did any of her family help.....er no.... Daughter sat in garden, ex made some [censored] excuse about her arm, son no where to be seen..... Useless.
So I moved all my stuff and then shed loads of videos...3000+....all by myself....
And don't forget I have had heart surgery!.
I am physically and mentally knackers lol.
But I don't really feel sad... Don't know what I feel....
Tired I guess....
Still I done it, didn't cry , held it together.....hardest part was saying bye to the dog.

Right off to bed.
Goatjazz

Well done, you got through it! Hopefully now you can start to move forward without this hanging over your head. Hope you slept okay and today is a new day!

Morning.

Slept awfully, and this morning feel really weird.
Have emptied most of the van, so now going to chill.
What a mess, just still doesn't feel real.
But hey it is.... I am off until Tuesday, will contact docs again tomorrow , just not sure I can go back to work yet.... But I need to get back into some routine.
Maybe go back on reduced hours ... And build it
up..so will see.....just need to get motivated.just scared and not much to look forward to, just feels empty.
Goatjazz

Well another day!.

Thank you again for all the advice and support.
Yesterday was ok, I unloaded the van. Well most of it.
And watched the golf.
Had an email from ex, firstly saying thank you for collecting stuff, and then another email later saying what did I want to do about a divorce!!!!!
Jeepers she is not hanging around.....
She has a friend who is a solicitor and I guess she is in contact with her.
I said that I didn't see any rush and I would wait the two years and then that would be that.
Also added unless she needed it quicker then she could do it and I would sign the papers, but she can pay for it!.
She replied that she was happy to wait.....
Just thought she might have someone else.... Just a thought for second... Just seemed to be moving quickly and I thought maybe she was in a rush!

Still I am ok. Still don't like the mornings and it's tough because I am stuck here.
Just want to get to my flat and start again.
Still I will unload the rest of th e van, call the docs and get an appointment.
Then probably watch the golf.
Going to get golfing I think. There is a driving range up the road, so need a few clubs first....might even take my daughter sometime.

Thanks
Goatjazz

Doctors and golf, they're both positives. Have a good day.

Hi everyone.
So today I have been to local car boot sale, got a few golf clubs and some [censored].
So I might hit the diving range next week.
Just home and watching the golf on tv now.
Feeling really lost today tho, empty... Really hoped this feeling would be going.
Still. I have the docs on Monday, see what they say... Feels like anxiety tho.
Going to see my Daughter tomorrow and hopefully if weather is ok either golf or car boot.... Try golf I think.

Anyway any advice on my feelings would be great.

Thanks
Gary goatjazz

I'm afraid there isn't a quick fix for your feelings - it's a slow process, but you will get there. I think what you are doing is the right way to go.

Morning all,
Thank you for your replies and advice.
It's great to get help and advice, keeps me going on the right path.
Today I am meeting my daughter to play golf, pitch and putt... Down by the seafront... Will be windy!.
So that will be my day.
Got the docs tomorrow, see what they say. Feeling anxious all the time, not gotten tho. Just a weird feeling.
Hopefully they might be able to give me something....
Also would like a doc note to cover me again if I don't feel like work.
I will talk to them and see, I need to start a routine tho.

Anyway catch up later.
Goatjazz