[Solved] Marriage break up

Hi goatjazz3

I've just been following your thread as I am new to this site having separated from my wife a month ago and we have a 5 year old daughter.
I moved out of the house and into my sisters small box room; unlike your situation which I sympathise with, my wife and I are amicable and access to my daughter is frequent.

However, I am totally with you in the way that you have been feeling emotionally and physically.
Not only is the separation heartbreaking with all the other emotions such as anxiety and depression, but the thought of moving on is terrifying!
I did go to my GP and was prescribed anti-depressants (for the first time ever) and signed off work long term (I work in the emergency services and the stress I just couldn't cope with).

What I am doing which is helping to some degree, is meditation; I am joining a meditation group next week which sounds very interesting. I am just not into the self destruct thing, ie drinking, drugs or re-discovering clubbing!
I have learned that it is the thoughts that we have and the emotion and weight that we give them is what causes a lot of the problems.
So my friend, baby steps is the answer. Do the little things and focus on them. For me it's, meditating, reading and for exercise, I've give up weight lifting and re-discovered my passion for road cycling.

It takes time I guess, and things are still so raw for me, but taking care of yourself day by day like you would if you had the flu, is the answer.

Keep in touch as we're suffering together.

Hi everyone.
Not been on here much just been browsing but I thought I should update.
So today I get the keys back to my flat.
Been a struggle these last few months, very much like a rollercoaster ride.
But each day I feel better, and moving on with my life.
Thank you all very much for your comments and advice which I have taken on board.
Councilling this afternoon and then I can start to move things into flat.
Exciting but daunting times.
Work has been really good. And I have two runs off now to get the flat sorted and how I want it.
Dating wise, been out a couple of times with a lovely lady, and I am taking things slowly and going with the flow.
So anyway, yes I am going ok.... Nothing special but I am progressing forward.
I have had minimal contact with the ex, just the odd email and text... Mainly about the dog he was not well... But he seems to be better at the moment...
Anyway thanks again and I will update a bit more very soon, as I will have internet and not have to use my 4g and my phone!.
Cheers
Goat

Hi There,
.
It's great to hear your plodding on and moving forward, getting back into your flat should help you too.
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GTTS

Hi Goat

Great to hear from you and thanks for the update.

It may seem to you that things are progressing slowly, but I think you've achieved a lot in a relatively short period of time....back in your flat, new relationships....all sounds good to me. As you say, exciting times ahead.

Wishing you and your daughter all the best.

Hi There,
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I read something on facebook last night which is quite fitting.
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"it doesn't matter how slowly you are moving forward, at the end of the day you will be further than you were when you started!"
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GTTS

Hi Folks,

Just thought I would give you another quick update.
So been back in my flat a few weeks now, starting to get it how I want it.
Work is going good, nearly back to full hours, so another good thing.
Last counselling session tomorrow, and I think that should do it.
New carpet being laid tomorrow morning for front room.
Dating wise, went out today with a lovely lady, good fun, and easy to talk too.
Seeing her again next week.
So yes, overall I am in a pretty good place.
Only contact I've had with ex is to do with separation order.... And unfortunately the pet dog passed away yesterday.
So that was really sad...

But onwards I go...

Sorry to hear about your family pet; I still miss Buster my cat and he's been gone for a couple of years now...they are part of the family and equally missed.

It's great that you are getting on with things and life is moving on for you in a positive way....long may it continue!

Hi There,
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Thanks for the update, sorry to hear aout your dog, Always sad.
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You seem to have managed to move on really well, it's so good to hear.
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GTTS

Hi,
Just a quick update.
Is been 4 months now since my break up... Still hurts but I'm doing ok.
Back to work full time and have moved into my flat.
Still lots to do, sorting and getting paperwork updated etc.
Have signed and returned the deed of separation papers.
Finished my Councilling sessions, very good and have option to do more of required.
Have been on four dates with a lovely lady. Still just taking things very slowly and see what happens.
So yes, I am ok....still no where near the person I used to be. My motivation has gone, can't be bothered with lots of things but I'm sure that will come back.
Anyway catch up soon.
Going to try and avoid Christmas...
Really not in the mood for that.
Goatjazz

Hi thanks for the update

Glad to hear you are doing better and taking things slowly. It really does take time to move forward but it sounds like you are doing all the right things. We are hear if you need to speak or vent about anything.

Take care

Hi Goat

I have PM you!

Also, I have only been separated for 3 months and I am trying my best to avoid Christmas, even volunteered to work but declined!
I'll see my daughter for a few hours in the morning on Christmas Day to watch open her presents, but then I'll do what I like to do and park up somewhere in my car and read a book. My car feels like a sanctuary and it's somewhere I can feel free; just don't want to be around anyone this Christmas!