Long Distance Parenting

I know the feeling. Although my distance is not as far as yours. I moved away from my home town when I met my ex (she has a son from previous relationship and did not want to move him away from school/friends) so I moved here, it is about an hours drive for me to go back "home" if I did not have my two kids, I would have moved back with no question. But I could not bring myself to move away too far so I stayed close. I don't really have friends up here, I would go out with my ex's friends which isnt really an option any more. It can be lonely at times, but I go and visit my friends and family when I can, it's hard when my friends arrange an outing on a weekend I have my kids, but I can't expect them to change everything to accommodate me. 

The 200 mile distance could be quite an issue and restrict how often you see the kids. It is a tough decision to make. Have you looked at possibly dating again or joining some clubs to meet new people perhaps?

Cheers fer17,

Thanks for responding.

I am looking into whether there are any clubs / groups I could join (looked at a few events / groups on Meetup).

And [censored] [censored] yes I want to start dating again. I am sick of being on my own and not have anyone to plan date nights with or show any interest in me.

My world view can change. Sometimes I am calm with the idea of staying down south. Other times it really fills me with dread, as I worry how I will be when I am on my own. There is probably 1 person locally who I can call a mate, who actually is seperate to my wifes friends. To be fair I work with some decent people in London, and would probably have a beer with them after work once a week. But they have their own lives outside work.

I know I can have a bit more of a social life back in Manchester. I stress this is not about me wanting to go our partying. It is just being with people to take my mind off the negative stuff going on.  And it is about me becoming myself again, as the last 2 years I have lost a load of confidence, but whenever I am up in Manchester I feel like I am my old self.

Its [censored]. I am just waiting for something to happen that will convince me which option is the best and most sustainable.

I am the same, when I go back to my mates it feels like all my worries are gone and forgotten. Its just when you are home alone it starts creeping up. How often do you see you children at the moment? 

get yourself out there or on some dating sites and try and snap someone up. 

Still seeing them everyday. We live together and are just about to start working things out.

My wife doesn't work, and for a while has had no interest in going back to work. So we cannot afford to run two households as it is just my salary.

I am unsure how amicable or toxic things will get once we start talking about the practicalities of separation. I guess if it gets really toxic, friends start taking sides, that might be something which influences my decision.

The 200 mile distance could be quite an issue and restrict how often you see the kids. It is a tough decision to make. Have you looked at possibly dating again or joining some clubs to meet new people perhaps?

Hi all.

Dating is a no until I have my own place (why would a woman want to date a man still living in the same house with his ex). I did try a few clubs but for whatever reason just didn't click with the people.

I am just worried I will become a bitter man down here. All joint man friends have kind of gone quiet as wife is friends with their wives. So I am out of that group.

And since she filed for divorce the only friends who have regularly asked how I am are the ones fro. My home town. Very little support down here. 

I fear staying here will send me to a dark place when I don't have the kids. I get almost get panic attacks when I look at what I might be able to afford if we have to sell the house (or worse if she gets the house and I have to move out)