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In need of some urgent advice!
I've been with my partner for 7 months, we live together (or did!). Anyway my ex (the mother of my child) was texting me telling me she needed to talk to me and it was urgent. She was quite persistent. So after a while, I allowed her to come round 1 night knowing my current gf was out. My gf is paranoid about my ex as we are still married (on paper) but been seperated for a year. My ex came round and told me she still had feelings for me. I've already moved on. She ended up staying until the early hours of the morning talking.
However, stupidly,the next week or two after, her saying she had feelings triggered a switch. As much as I didn't want her one bit, I wanted to play a bit of a game and see if I could get her to want me (if that makes sense?) And yes, I'm aware now of how stupid an idea it was.
My ex then called my gf and told her she came over and that we slept together, to try split us up. My gf believes her and not me as she was already paranoid. I've got proof I haven't slept with her, and my ex is very vague about the specifics of the [censored] that we apparantly had.
My ex has moved out back to her parents and quit her job. She said she no longer trusts me... whether I slept with her or not, I lied to her about talking to my ex (which I said I hadn't done due to her paranoia). She wants me to take a lie-detector test at a cost of approx. £500. I don't want to do it. I know i'd pass it, but then what? She will accuse the machine of being wrong, everytime we argue, is she going to demand I take another test? How do I say no to the test without it looking like i'm guilty? I do love her, I do want her back... she said that if i'm willing to do whatever it takes, I have no reason not to do this test.....
Hi there
You don't have a lot of options really, as you've been caught lying to your partner, not only that but about the person she is most worried about.
From your partners position, if you don't agree to the test, she will see it as an admission of guilt... You could suggest counselling to try and get past this....sorry I can't be more helpful.
Thanks - this is my problem. Refusing to do it make's me look guilty, i've no idea how to get around it 🙁
I hate to say this, but if your GF doesn't trust you, then it's not a good basis for a relationship going forward and I would say that the two of you need to have a serious conversation about whether you do both have a future together. She either has to trust you - and in return, you don't do anything stupid in future to shake that trust, or you both call it quits.
As for the lie detector test - if they were 100% reliable, then the whole criminal justice system could be transformed and the courts replaced with the test with the outcome being the decider. No need for judges (part from the length of the sentence) or juries. I wouldn't trust the outcome of such a test.