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Hi,
I'm new to this and don't know where to start but I am at my wits end and need a rant!!
I have a three month old son who is lovely and was really close to my wife before his birth. Since his birth I can do nothing right and get criticized for everything I do time and time again. Nothing I do is ever enough either. Believe me I do a lot for both of them its not like I don't pull my weight I do and then some! I share as much work and more around the house and with our baby. Is this normal behavior from my wife, is she just so very tired? She has changed so much. I am always left feeling like I have never done enough despite all I do.
She seems to think she can be the only one who is tired, stressed whatever. Let me tell you I am now unemployed but am a teacher and the last six months in my last job were so stressful I was nearly on medication but I refused them. I don't dare complain its like I'm not allowed to. Instead of being supportive she will just make me feel useless and guilty for not being a better person.
I am tired all the time, money is tight as I am out of a job, I hate my career in teaching but dare not give it up as I foolishly changed my career, I feel trapped and so very depressed and alone. I can't take much more of this but I do so only for my son. I can't see a way out or a solution.
There, I've got it off my chest I just had to rant.
Hi Jezel,
First off, welcome to the site mate. I love saying hi to noobs.
Secondly, sounds like you have gone through a tough time recently and to top it off you have a little bundle of joy to contend with as well. Both you and your wife sound like you under a considerable amount of stress at the moment with you being out of work and having to deal with a new baby. I am not surprised that you are going through a difficult time.
Your wife's behaviour is normal mate, she is more than likely very tired and feeling pressured as well.
You both sound like you're struggling at the moment and what should be an very happy & exciting time for both of you seems to have lost its gloss. The excitement and build up to birth can sometimes,for people, fall a bit flat afterwards. So with the issues you guys are experiencing no wonder you are where you are emotionally.
As you are sounding so low at the moment I would suggest you check out these articles on the site :
Chased by the black dog
one in ten
If you need to rant (shall we call it letting off steam instead) or just want to talk things through then please pop back.
Gooner
Thanks for your kind words Goonerplum.
It makes sense that she is tired and pressurized I guess but right now I feel like all my energy goes into supporting her and trying to help and all I get back is abuse and more pressure myself. I feel like I need the support as I don't know how to cope with things at the moment and certainly I get none from her.
The links you sent me were most useful however and whilst I don't think she has PND I have come to realise that I must still be suffering from the stress of the last few months and I need to get some help. Where do I start though? I want to keep it low key and to myself to be honest - I don't want her or my family to know.
Thanks once again.
A great place to get support would be your GP. He/She would have to keep it confidential and you would be able to talk through all the issues you have with them.
Do you have a approachable Family Doctor ?
Hi
I hope you make that appointment to see your GP. There is no need for you to tell your family anything if you don't want to. You do need to find a quiet time when you and your wife can talk and tell her how you are feeling. You may not get the support you need from her, but at least she will know what is going on with you. Communication is vital, you have to keep those lines open.
I am sorry that your career change into teaching hasn't worked out for you. I know you feel as if you don't want to lose face by admitting that you hate your job, especially it was your choice to change your career, but you have had the courage to do what many others would never do. OK, so it hasn't worked out for you this time, but there is no need for you to struggle onn when other opportunities may come your way. Perhaps it is time to admit that teaching isn't right for you and look for something new that you would enjoy. You have nothing to lose.
I hope this helps you.
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