[Solved] Intrusive ex wanting to know about new partners OCD

Hi there

Its a difficult situation, i can understand your partners reaction...have they met? Might that be something that you would consider?

You ask, does your ex need to know about it, she already does and is probably looking for assurances that it wont impact on the children.

If your partner isnt under a specialist or on medication, is able to function normally, perhaps works full time etc.. Then this should be all the reassurance your ex should need, suggesting meeting for coffee might break the ice and allow the ex to see theres nothing to worry about.

Best of luck

Thank you for your response.
One of my ex’s conditions is that she needs to meet any parter I am planning on introducing to the kids. Out of respect to her as my children’s mother I agreed as I felt that this would help reassure that I am still want us to be amicable.

What I meant is does she really need to know the ins and outs of my new partners condition. It’s very sensitive and personal. She’s not on medication and has worked through her condition since being a teenager.

I have no concern that it will have any affect on my kids. I am concerned that my ex will use this to judge or perhaps look down on her.

Clearly she needs reassurance that it won’t affect the kids, and that is her only concern.

Thanks again for your reply, it’s good to get an outside perspective on this.

Fo2

There’s no law that states she has to be told personal things about new partners, but as you had already agreed to introduce new partners to her, that kind of gives her permission to be intrusive.

Unfortunately the cat is out of the bag... it’s a shame your ex knows about it, but because she does, I can sort of understand why she might want more information and assurances, as long as she is sensitive and non confrontational about it.

Perhaps meeting for a coffee and friendly chat might be all that’s needed, it shouldn’t be more than that IMO, she certainly shouldn’t expect to interrogate your partner or to be unkind to her.

Best of luck

SInce your ex has made this condition, then you need to set boundaries on just how she behaves, and make it clear that if she goes too far and upsets your partner, then you will end the meeting. OCD isn't something that I can see should be any problem to your children, and certainly not their welfare, so I can't see that your ex can refuse contact with your children - at worst, she could mention it to children's services, but I can't see they'd take it as a welfare or safety issue.