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In a mess and don't...
 
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[Solved] In a mess and don't know what to do

 
(@Dadsolow)
New Member Registered

Sorry if this is rather long and rambling. Feeling really down at the moment and need to let things out and get some advice

Been married nearly 20 years. Had a son in comprehensive school. Things with wife not been good for some time worse in last few months. Everything I do is wrong. We are not intimate and haven't been for a long long time. Was always me making move and pushed away. Sort of given up trying. Number of years ago had a bab patch. I was sided up with her lack of help felti had to do everything I had bad down period. I called her really nasty things and we nearly split. We did get past that and things got better. She never let's me forget that though. Recently she been on to me about anything and everything. When son started como we failed to get him into our choice of school so had to look for alt one. His friend was going to one about 30mins from us. Had good reports so we looked and liked. We didn't like local school which is why we didn't send him there. There was one other school a little further that seemed good but opted for the one his friend went to. Another friend we found out was going too and we ended up after I agreeing to share lifts. My wife doesn't really like one of the parents but we don't have to talk to them much its just taking the kids. But that was wrong of me now today he is not moving classes but the others are to higher class. Wife now taking it out on me saying he will feel bad about not doing well and the kids will be nasty to him. I know they can be nasty at times but I feel it would be the same no matter what school they are in. The other school would gave been difficult to get to. Wife won't drive anywhere so its left to me. This started her off again. We haven't slept in same room for about a month now. Always at night she starts. Finding something to have a go at me. Saying we don't get on she wants out wants a divorce

If I do housework in wrong not spending time with her. If u spend time with her she moans I don't help clean house. She don't work but is on PC all day playing stupid games.

I know I'm rambling just can't really get a clear head right now

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 15/07/2015 2:39 am
 Yoda
(@yoda)
Famed Member

Hi Dadsolow and welcome to the forum.

Sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. It sounds like your relationship has had a fair amount of difficulties over the years.

Teenage children and secondary school can be a stressful time for everyone but can be magnified when there are already other issues within the home.

Have you thought about suggesting to your wife that you attend counselling together? It really might help to get you communicating again and see what you would both like to happen?

Relate http://www.relate.org.uk/ offer couples counselling nationwide. It's also worth googling local counselling centres in your area as many now offer this service too.

Also check out our relationship section where you might find some helpful advice.

http://www.dad.info/relationships

Good luck and we will help where we can.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15/07/2015 12:02 pm
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Hi There,

As yoda has said counselling would be a good move for you, you will both need to adress your issues and that is easier to do with a 3rd party to help promote conversation rather than arguements which normally happen when one partner has an issue with the other.

Look at the links that Yoda has posted and see if you can find something near you, even if your partner won't go it could be good to go alone even to start with and then try and get her to come along later, if you go alone they can help you deal with your frustrations which could help you.

GTTS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 16/07/2015 5:32 pm
(@Nannyjane)
Illustrious Member Registered

Hi there

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling, all relationships have their share of ups and down and you have invested many years in your relationship. I do hope you can find a way through the present difficulties.

As Yoda and GTTS have mentioned counselling would be something worth giving serious thought to and the good news is that Relate can offer this via email and telephone now too, which makes it much easier to access.

Best of luck with it all and you know where we are if you need to talk.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 16/07/2015 11:50 pm
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