Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information โ open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you โ or someone you know โ are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi there,
Well where do I start, me and my girlfriend of 18months have just had a kid. All through the pregnancy everythingโs been fine between us.
No sooner than 6 days after she had the baby she wanted to leave me all of a sudden I watched her change over night. She went back to her mum and dads with our new born baby, her mum and dad where doing everything for her and I was left home alone. Weโve been split up just over a week now and sheโs letting me see the baby whenever I want thatโs not the problem, at first I begged her I said id do this and the next thing to get her back but still didnโt work. I feel like sheโs been awfully quick into this and no thought whatโs so ever, half her clothes are still her along with half of the babyโs things Iโve seen a huge change in her and Iโm all most convinced itโs post natal depression. Her family are calling it โbaby bluesโ and โhormonesโ all over the place and they seem to think they can fix her them selfs and wonโt speak to the GP.
Iโm always going to be there for her and the wee one and have stopped talking about things with her just about the baby and asking how she is. Before I coach my self into believe everything she says about she still loves me but doesnโt want to be with me anymore is there anything I could try. I did think about ignoring her completely for a while but I think sheโd crack up and take that the wrong way. Any advice if anyone has had dealings with this kind of thing before.
Has she had a health visitor/midwife visit since the birth - they may be able to help.
Yeah she has but hides it awfully well and she doesnโt think there anything wrong, do I just give her time?
Its very hard to tell if an ex partner has post natal depression or not. sometimes you will just never know or get a reason if you break up. sometimes they wait whilst they are pregnant as they need your support whilst there are underlying issues and they don't tell you, once baby born they suddenly leave a few weeks later with no explanation expecting you to know why. sometimes they make a decision and are too proud to reverse it , by then other people interfere and make matters worse. Its a real tough one and maybe giving your ex a bit of space and focusing on baby maybe the best short term solution for now and maybe thinking to yourself whilst in deep thought if there is anything it could possibly be you have done ๐
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We donโt like to set โrulesโ, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.