[Solved] I know this has probably been asked a lot

Hey Macc79,

Sorry to hear you're going through all that [censored]. I've never been married but i know how shite things feel. Most importantly you need to keep yourself healthy. I didn't and it made things worse...so make sure you keep eating/going out and try not to let it effect your work life etc.

I know it doesn't feel like it now but time is your best friend...time heals most things. Trust me.

I know a lot of other guys on here have been through what you are going through now, i'm sure they'll have some more advice.

Chin up pal.

Thanks ejlmc.its getting through the time that's the killer buddy.

I know man, Is there anywhere you can go? You need to keep busy as you can. Try not to spend evenings alone...they were the worst for me. Your thoughts can take over. Try go out to family or friends in the evening and weekend. Treat yourself to a holiday maybe. If you can't...get into a boxset/tv show. I recommend 'Band of brothers' good series and it's long.

I got to a place where I thought i couldn't get out...minutes felt like weeks let alone days or hours. However the time does go and you do feel better.

The thought of a holiday only makes me feel like I would be further from them,the hours I do at work are quite long which never helped with my marriage and I thought that being at work would help but I'm permanently having conversations in my head with my wife about how I'm felling and what I could do to fix things.i don't want to make myself a crazy person.im a good human being and I know I have my failings but I just want the feelings of being totally crushed to ease.

Iv talked to some family and a few friends but I feel as if I'm passing my burden on to them.they say I'm being ridiculous by that sentiment but it's the frame of mind I am stuck in

It's still fresh. This is going to be one of the toughest times of your struggle. Times does go slowly...really slowly, it's just filling that time that you need to work on. Don't keep it all in, you need to talk to people about it. It will drive you insane otherwise.

Like I said before...you need to get busy. Your head is in overdrive and i totally understand what that's like. I lost nearly 3 stone in weight from the stress of it all and over things, and sat in my house with the curtains closed and it made it worse. You need to get out and be busy. Go to football games, go to the gym, go spend some money on a playstation or anything to keep you busy.

Thanks man,I really appreciate you taking the time to share your experience ej,

No need to thank me man. This is what this brilliant website is for...you just need to talk. Don't bottle it in.

Like I said before...there are guys on here that will have been through similar things to you. Take a look through the website and a lot will help you out.

Chin up though man... 🙂

I was 100% in your position for a few months last year mate and trust me you will get through it 🙂

What ejlmc has suggested is absolutely spot on first and foremost you've got to think of yourself first so you can be a strong daddy for your kids.

Try and keep yourself busy to take your mind off things, I worked all hours god sends, bought and sold some cars after fixing them up whilst trying to eat and sleep right I also found exercise was good.

Lean on your friends and family they're right in saying you're not a burden so don't worry about that, that's what they are there for 🙂

It's hard but just focus on you and your kids and try not to make the situation worse.

I know it sounds extreme but I found a couple of chats with the samaritans done me good they are great they enable you to see the wood from the trees.

Keep posting we are all here to help most of us have been through it 🙂

Slim 🙂

Motivation seems to be the thing that I don't have,went for a run this morning,all good.untill you start getting closer to an empty house.i think that's the killer.even when finishing up at work,everyone else is rushing to get done and I'm just thinking"what's the point of rushing?"
It's a [censored] mess.

It's still all very raw, so you are bound to feel this way. Going for a run (as you've done), or joining a gym is a good way to start to feel better about yourself. You have to accept it will be a slow process, but you will get there.