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How do you deal wit...
 
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[Solved] How do you deal with this

 
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

If you and your partner or ex partner had to make a decision that effected you both and you couldn't agree how did you go about resolving things?

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Topic starter Posted : 16/06/2015 4:10 pm
(@Nannyjane)
Illustrious Member Registered

In life we have to make compromises and relationships are no different. Talking things through without getting angry or raising voices and being prepared to give and take... A solution can always be found if both parties are willing to look!

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Posted : 17/06/2015 2:57 pm
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

wow - that's a tricky one. To be honest, I can't imagine a situation like that occurring, so I think it's something we'd have to deal with at the time, if it came up. A bit of a cop-out, I know, but however much you plan, life has a habit of throwing a curve-ball and you need to be flexible to deal with it as it develops.

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Posted : 18/06/2015 1:00 am
 1626
(@1626)
Noble Member Registered

Guess you would have to compromise on whatever level was possible? I think what I've learned from mine and friends relationships that haven't worked is that it's important to agree on the 'big' issues or at least know each others views on them before making big commitments.

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Posted : 18/06/2015 1:45 am
(@mr-slim)
Famed Member Registered

Compromise is key I've learned the art over the past 2 years trust me 🙂

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Posted : 18/06/2015 2:19 am
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

I agree compromise is the way through it.

But when we say compromise, does that equate to one party or the other backing down, so not really compromising but actually one or the other party feeling like they have had no choice in the matter and just had accept the decision of the other person, just to keep the peace.

GTTS

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Topic starter Posted : 23/06/2015 1:08 pm
(@halfoyster)
Reputable Member Registered

There are somethings I would not compromise on, hence making clear my position or future plans makes it a lot easier. If one is always compromising and the other is nonetheless fixated on their views, that is I respectfully put to you, not an egalitarian relationship.

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Posted : 23/06/2015 4:47 pm
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

I get what your saying, but by saying there are some things you won't compromise on isn't that just expecting your partner to go along with it no matter what?
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I'm not saying you're wrong this thread is to promote comversation and I'm like you there are some things I won't back down on, but what do we do when we hit a stale mate and niether will back down? does it just get swept under the carpet until the next time or is there a way to find compromise where neither party feels hard done by?

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Topic starter Posted : 23/06/2015 4:58 pm
(@halfoyster)
Reputable Member Registered

I think compromising on major issues strongly affect the relationship dynamics, one will always be resentful - speaking from experience. It remains my duty to ascertain the importance of the issue and the factual implication of a decision, without holding on trivial things.

Communicate as early as possible, that's why it is important not to rush the "getting to know" phase.

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Posted : 23/06/2015 5:22 pm
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

I think that's very well put, and I think you're right it's when the argument against or for the decision is trivial rather than large, it's difficult to back down sometimes even when your arguement isn't a strong one.

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I guess that when one or the others arguement is based on something trivial then thats where the compromise should come and not from the strong belief or solid reasoning, from experience this isn't always easy to reach though

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Topic starter Posted : 23/06/2015 5:40 pm
(@Twiston)
Reputable Member Registered

does compromise mean compromise, or mean giving in to mum and accepting your lot?

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Posted : 23/06/2015 10:45 pm
(@mr-slim)
Famed Member Registered

I've found compromising with my ex and me backing down in the first instance just to break the deadlock then she has seen I've backed down and been more willing to compromise lol 🙂

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Posted : 23/06/2015 11:23 pm
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