[Solved] Handovers - Advice

Unfortunately these are the games some mothers play.

You should write to her formally, pointing out that she has breached the terms of the order twice and that instead of distracting them with fun activities on days that they should be seeing you, she should be encouraging their contact time with you and facilitating it positively. Tell her that if this continues you will have no choice but to apply to court for an enforcement order and a return to,court.

Saying that.... has the court case finished, or are there more hearings in the future? If there are you should write to the judge that has made the current order, explain that it is continually being breached for no good reason and request a return to court for urgent new directions. Some judges will do this, others will direct you to submit form C2 to ask for new directions in the existing case. If the breaching continues you can also apply for enforcement.

I have already requested mediation to extend the time due to their mother not agreeing to extend the contact for more than 4.5hrs a week. The struggles with the children wanting to come and the distractions being used are as a result of me requesting mediation.

This week I will be submitting a new C100 as the previous case finished in 2013. She is just being so unreasonable and unhelpful. I genuinely cannot see me having either boys between now and us attending court.

As mentioned in my previous topic, I am having to wait for 3 months for mediation to start due to her being pregnant and having had advice that she should hold off from mediation until after the baby is born. Due to the current situation though I am wondering if it is easier to go straight to court and forget mediation?

I do not want to seem like I do not want to mediate, but the current situation is only getting worse and I cannot see it getting any better any time soon.

Hi

If she is in breach of the order, you can fill out a C79 for enforcement and this bypasses the need for mediation. You should get a hearing within 4 weeks. If she claims she cannot attend due to pregnancy, there is a possibility her attendance can be by telephone.

This must be awful for you 🙁 The mother should be making the children ready and available for all contact with you and should be proactive with that. I would do as stated and write to her outlining your concerns. If she doesn't help or things don't change next time then go for enforcement. hope it gets better for you 🙂

Is there any way you can persuade her that it would be easier for her if you did more to look after your children so that she doesn't have to make arrangements for her immeidately before ann after the birth?

I have tried this on many occasions! She would rather let the boys go to her parents when she is in hospital.

She is due to have a caesarean which will mean she may have to stay in for a couple of nights. I have asked for confirmation that if my regular contact is during this time that it will still happen and she has ignored my requests.

Hi Yoda,

I am not sure if you or anyone else would be able to guide me, I have been looking through the EX50 with regards to fees for court, do you know the cost of filing a C79?

Thanks,

John

Hi there

This has always confused me....I know that some members have been charged the full £215, but some members have been charged £95 in the past. The way I read it is that it should be £95 as it's a breach. I think the best thing to do is give the court a call and get clarification.... let us know how you get on.

Well yesterday was a day from [censored]! Nearly took me back to the depths first felt in 2012 when contact was removed without reason.

I attended a TAC meeting (team around the child for those that don't know), The boys mother, maternal and paternal grandparents, myself as well as school representatives including a Parent Support Worker were all in attendance.

The PSW recommended backwards chaining as my eldest who suffers with ASD is struggling. Backwards chaining would result in me only getting 15 mins a week with both sons. I felt completely blind sided as I hadn't even been informed she was getting any support and it's been happening for 3 weeks.

After the meeting I messaged my ex and stated I was not prepared to lower contact to that level as she will not let me take the youngest away without the eldest.

I cannot believe how one sided everything is, they don't only make him go to school for 15 minutes which he also hates doing so why so different for me???