[Solved] Getting into a new relationship

Thanks. I can very much relate to you. I hope that you do find someone.

@IntrovertedDad as a matter of interest, whereabouts do you live (county is enough)?

Leicestershire

When I found my new partner I wasn't looking for anything. Was happy to just stroll along. I did join tinder and found an old friend. We just hit it off straight away. But I wasn't looking at the time.

However my ex decided to cause no end of hastle. To the point of trying to say I was gay. Even came up with a fake profile of me on certain sites and sending pictures to my gf. I went fishing for a week and was even saying I wasn't fishing but meeting men. This was easily laughable as my gf actually can to see me while I was fishing.

My ex couldn't stand to see me with someone else and was trying all sorts. But what made me laugh was she was out seeing her 'friend" at the time. Or better put her FB.

But my gf saw through it all and stayed with me. It took a lot of convincing that it was all fake and there was times I thought it would work.

Just take it easy and maybe join a few online apps but just play along. Because you never know what's around the corner.

Thanks for the reply. Online may be the initial step for me.

Be a little wary of online dating, there are a lot of fakes on there - not to say it can't work, but it's not as simple as it seems.

You could try facebook to see if there are any singles groups in your area - these aren't necessarily for dating, just single people getting together. Also might be worth looking at www.meetup.com to meet people with similar interests.

Yes there’s always a risk. I’m not on Facebook so that’s out of the question. I’m going to tread carefully whatever step I take.

meetup should be ok - that's just a site for people with the same interests to get together, it will get you socialising and because you all have the same interest, you have something to talk about.

Congratulations on your custody arrangements! I would love to know how fathers managed to get 50:50 at the first stage!

My advice - seek knowledge - read 'The Tactical Guide to Women', and read the trilogy of 'The Rational Male' books. Listen to podcasts around this area. Dating and meeting women again is perhaps the best part of things you can do once your old relationship is over.

But think about what went wrong, don't necessarily fall into the thinking it was all the other's fault, be self critical etc etc.

Good luck!

hi,

also try and watch out for red flags. one is if a potential is always talking about their ex. even if its negative things. i was so close to marrying someone like this. i found it odd that she would just randomly talk about her past marriage/ex. so i called it off. she has a child also. and the guy is messaging her, asking to go back for sake of child.:unsure: ;;) :dry:

I met my partner through online dating and we have been together now coming up on 2.5 yrs. She truly is the exact opposite of my ex-wife and a companion I can really see myself with long term. She really would like something more, she is a divorced mum of two boys, 14 and 8. Me divorced dad of one awesome little girl, almost 10. I have an aversion to marriage right now given how my divorce went and the true toll it took on me. Separated Jan 2018, very rushed with lots of false accusations my way. I did not agree with her reasons but decided not to defend the marriage. Since then, the introduction of no-fault divorces makes me incredibly nervous. I lost so much. It has taken me a huge amount of time to get back up mentally but also financially. She says she'll sign anything that states if we make things official and breakdown she wants no material possession, no financial claims against me, no pensions etc. I have a house that is almost 50% paid off. I have a healthy pension balance and am building a very respectable financial portfolio for myself. She by comparison does not have any of those things and no real rainy-day fund to fall back onto.

I would be taking all the risk opting to walk down the aisle again and although I am not against marriage, I feel it is trivialized these days and treated as a cheap commodity. The system still backs women in the majority of divorce cases, and it really angers me that the system has made it even easier to absolve anyone of any accountability when it comes to the Union of two people, on as little as a change on mind these days. I literally could wake up tomorrow having lost half my house, half my financial position and then be made to pay spousal support for the privilege. I do things with extreme caution these days.

I'm a cynic, I truly am. But I'm also a dreamer. Has anyone experienced these types of feelings and if so, how did you work through them? I am worried that if I don't commit fully, she'll eventually walk. I don't want to be accused of being financially motivated or materialistic, but I really don't feel like being taken for all I have again, I'm not sure I'd survive a second time round.