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Hi Skins,
When I read some of the other threads on this forum, I realise how my issues are small beer and really this is just a small family drama which will probably resolve itself in time.
No members issue is ever small beer. Everyone's issue is important and serious to them as everyone elses. We are happy to offer support and advice no matter how serious the issue.
my wife and I have sat down with my parents and had a good talk. I think we are on an even keel with them - we all seem to be getting along on the surface which has made me feel more comfortable about things.
That is excellent news. I'm glad you were able to talk and smooth things over. That must be a weight off your mind.
Is there any chance your parents could intervene with your brother? Explain that for the sake of family harmony that it would be easier if he let past arguments slide and focus on getting on together ?
Maybe its time both your wife and brother accepted that they both could have made the situation worse but the only way to move on is to try to get on together for the sake of the family, your sanity and your daughter. Surely she would be happier knowing her uncle and mother, whilst not great friends respect each other and are civil ? It only takes one of them to be the bigger person and then the other to respond in kind.
Keep talking
Gooner.
I agree gooner - a problem is a problem and needs sorting out however insignificant it may seem at the time (and big problems are often small problems that didn't get sorted soon enough). That's what we're here to help with.
Hi,
Your'e right - little problems can become big ones. I thought we had sorted thing sout with my parents, but things seem to have gone backwards and now my wife doesnt want to sepnd any time with them at the moment. This is really diifcult as they want to see their granddaughter. Talking thorugh it, its clear there are long standing issues from my parents towards my wife which have gone unsaid for a long time and now she thinks they dont like her depsite what they say. I really dont know how it will get resolved as every discussion seems to magnify the probelm rather than deal with it. Im edging closer to a breakdown and putting too much stain on my wife to help me through it when she has enough to deal with at the moment.
She really wants me to get better, for me, for her and for our daughter. She wants me to and get some help to create some longterm coping strategies to deal with my anxiety. I just keep fobbing it off but now I think its time I got some proffessional help - its starting to consume me and I really dont like the feeling. I can go from confident to a gibbering wreck in a matter of seconds.
Cheers guys
Skins
Your wife seems to have the right idea - you need to have those coping strategies so it's definitely worth getting some help. I'd see your GP as a first step - it really can help if you can know what is going on in your own head, what brings it on and how to manage your reaction.
Being a parent for the first time is difficult, but you will soon learn and generally will not make the same mistake twice. What I am trying to say is, its the same for everyone. Breast feeding is very hard for mom's, milk generally takes many weeks to develop and therefore takes a lot longer in the early stages. your partner will be very tired and likewise you will be too.
Us men rely on women more than we like to admit. Perhaps attach a check list to the travel bag. Or keep track of what you have used and keep the bag in good stock at all times. this will help your partner when you are not around and she needs to pop out.
My daughter is two and my experience suggests it gets easier when babies are able to support them selves better, around 6 - 12 months. Once they are running around you will end up with a solid wrecking machine giving you both joy with the true meaning of life.
try and find something unique as a way of contributing. When our baby went onto solids we made our own food by boiling and purifying vegetables. Suggest this to your partner and discuss as a couple what you will cook. Remember no oil, salt or sugar.
Regards Gary