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My wife recently gave birth to our second child, and a month in, things at home are going a similar way as they did after the birth of our first a few years back.
She is on maternity leave, and I work full time M-F. Our oldest spends three full days out the house in various childcare, family and preschool leaving her with the newborn to take care of.
I have read many threads on here, and this will seemingly be trivial to many, by no stretch of the imagination do I have expectations of years gone by, but a dinner now and again would be nice. I do the majority of drop off / collection for our oldest at childcare, look after the exterior of the property, do the vast majority of cooking for us both and when entertaining.
I talk to friends, colleagues etc, and they are amazed about the fact I would go home after work, and there being no thought by her to have prepared dinner. Often, she will ask “what are we having for dinner”. Similarly, tasks around the house, ironing, cleaning etc often don’t get done and we have to share those at weekends.
It’s at the stage where I am resenting it. If our oldest was at home five days a week I would understand, however given the fact they are out the house 3 out of 5 days, I struggle to understand how she spends her time.
Apologies in advance if this has been posted in wrong area.
Hi there
Your issues don’t seem trivial, but on your own admission, things are going the same way as they did previously...how was that resolved the first time around? Were you able to talk to her about it and find any solutions?
It sounds to me that she has no direction, except when you’re there at the weekend, when you organise a sharing of the chores, would you say that’s right?
This is something that really does need addressing between you both, you need to sit down and talk about how you feel and suggestions on how to make it work. You could try couples counselling, if you feel,unable to tackle this alone. Relate might be helpful and sessions can be done via phone or email too.
www.relate.org.uk
Do you think she may be suffering from post natal depression? This can often manifest itself in a lack of interest and motivation, does she seem disengaged, or in a low mood at all? Maybe if you feel this may be an issue, you could talk to her family about it, or even your Health Visitor.
Best of luck
Agree with the above and wondering how you resolved things first time around.
It certainly sounds like there could be a degree of PND going on if she feels so overwhelmed that she appears to be not coping well enough to make a meal etc.
Best of luck
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