[Solved] ex stopped me seeing my children because of my gf

Hi and welcome to the forum

I'm in a similar situation, however my life now is wonderful compared to what it was!
My ex wife stopped me seeing my 3 children last year because I announced I was marrying my Girlfriend, I haven't seen them since and they've been turned against me.
I had to go down the legal route and apply for child contact in February, numerous court hearings later and I'm still no further forward.
There's currently a section 7 report being compiled by CAFCASS who are looking into the wishes of the children and I'm back in court Sept, I really don't know what will happen because the kids are of ages where they could lie, just to allow my ex to get what she wants.
I've been subjected to many accusations, it's been very tough!
What concerns me with your situation, is if things are that bad with your GF why would you want to introduce the children to her? Perhaps that's best not done quite yet?
Given that, I would look at seeing your children away from your GF for the interim, work at gaining their trust back and then if you are still with your GF approach the meeting topic again.
What you don't want to do is have your children be part of another split, which as you said may not be an amicable one.
I was never given the option to see mine away from my wife, hp just a blanket ban and no contact.
If this attitude from your ex has come about because of this new relationship, there's nothing to say it won't happen again in the future, my ex's tantrums etc led to me breaking up with a past ex just for the 'easy life' I wasn't going to let that happen this time as I love my wife to bits and we were serious from day 1!
therefore going forward, it may be better to have some form of proper contact arranged and ordered by the court.
There are lots of great members on here who could maybe advise better than I......I'm just talking from my experiences so far.
Good luck with what you decide!

Some good advice above. I would add that without a contact, or child arrangement order, your ex can pretty much call the shots with regards to contact. She would be expected to facilitate contact, which she has been doing to an extent.

You need to attend mediation with your ex to see if you can come to a resolution, and if not, then you might have to go to court.

With regards to your GF, have you considered going to Relate? That might be worth a shot if you want to save the relationship.

Hi.....My first post as I am looking out for my partner. He has always been a devoted father from the moment his 2 boys were born. The boys are now 9 and 17. Everyone that knows him can only speak from their hearts as to his selfless nature of care and concern for others. He is a firefighter and that too compliments his nature.

4 years ago his wife had an affair and he left the family home...a very traumatic time. A year later we meet and have now been together 3 years. Since the split from his ex-wife he has gone through a living nightmare. She has turned on him, and of course me, however I keep away from it all other than offering support. the last 3 years of harassment and hatred to him has not stopped and believe me we have been down all routes to end this but it is sad to say men are not considered like women are in these circumstances and it must change. She has taken him to court over finances from the marriage and the court ordered for the house to be sold. Guess what? Over a year from the court order date to market house and she has only just allowed it to go on the market. offers have been made and she won't accept...etc.....she pursues him over anything and anything.

He sees his 9 year old most weekends, though conditional with nasty emails sent from her. This weekend gone, both of his sons wee to stay at our property. On the day they arrived my daughter was rushed to hospital with an organ infection. I was beside myself and my partner returned the boys back home as it was not an appropriate time under the circumstances. Whilst he was driving the boys home, I raced to the hospital to be with my daughter, she is 18. As I was by her side, and frantically worried, I received a phone call. it was the ex-wife screaming at me that her kids were being dumped off. She screamed she didn't care how sick my kids were in hospital and that her kids came first. i ended the call immediately. It has left me traumatised.

My partner has now been told by her that she is taking him to court for a contact order. She won't let him see his son. It is heart breaking as he is the perfect father.

What should he expect to come? He would fall if he doesn't see his boy. He works on a shift pattern and no 2 weeks are the same. As it is she won't let him see the boys on fathers day, or their birthdays, or christmas.

He is in the process of a court hearing regarding the house to enforce the order? She is always threatening to take him to court over ....well nothing really.... just harassment. And now of course a contact order? All because my daughter was so sick. he was doing what he thought was right for everyone.

The irony is, she had the affair.

Please let me say she is taking him to court over nothing really....it is her harassment on him! No him harassing her as he doesn't contact her in any form other than arrangements for childcare.

Hi

Just to let you know CAFCASS are trained to detect children in the meetings they have. They talk to children in an indirect way, about everything to do with their daily life. They know if a child is being told to say something and they determine their findings by body language too.. If it s found that the child is under duress, this finding will go against the petitioner. It is a very tough time for you and it will work out.

@ Ereay

Probably better to start keeping a log of all incidents and advise your partner to think about attending mediation with his ex. If either of them apply to court for a Child Arrangement Order, mediation is mandatory before being allowed.