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I realise the majority of folk come here because they're in some sort of conflict,
There are some examples like of Slim and I have one girl at work saying "it gets better, me and my ex..." which is actually nonsense because only two months ago she punched him in tesco - I pointed out this was not ok she suggested I "man up" and as she was a girl it didnt matter - this woman is a professional.
Anyway, I was up late last night with the wonderful stresses of the world and came to realise in the grand scheme it never really does, people often point out, even here that she'll never make it easy. People come back with "its been fine for 3 years now my ex wants...."
It just never ends.
I cant plan anything successfully due to the time I have and Im financially crippled, unless I get a lodger in my childs room!
Hi Twiston,
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I can relate to what you are saying, and no it never goes away however as a whole things do get better, as it may be weeks or months between the issues or down days instead of weekly or even daily, the hurt and issues leave thier scars though so when these things do arrise again they seem to cut a bit deeper.
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I don't think that when you have had such issues over children they ever go away completely, you just have to be thankful of the peaceful times when they come.
.
GTTS
Hey Twiston
I think for some it does get better. For most, it just gets easier to deal with, especially as the children get older. Hang on in there, it might not feel like it, but you're in a much better place now than when you first joined here. It does become overwhelming and exhausting at points, hopefully she will get tired of it too....
Hi Twiston,
I think got-the-tshirt is probably right, things never really get better, but they do get easier to deal with. The very nature of this site means that most of us are committed dads that didn't want our families to break up, so it is inevitable that many will feel wronged. Most of us have lost the dream of a happy marriage and family, some struggle to see their children much or at all, virtually all have suffered (and continue to suffer) financially.
After some years a sort of order does appear and life gets easier. In my case my son lives with me alternate weeks and is growing up happy and well adjusted, so that was worth holding out for. Emotionally I could not care less what his mother does, she wants to be friends (and has even suggested having a relationship) but that cannot ever happen. The financial arrangements imposed by the state seem most unfair, and unfortunately mean there is no incentive whatsoever for me to earn any more money, which is just a pity (not that I particularly need the money).
Best wishes,
O
My ex has been fine for one whole year now and our friendship is still improving like has been said it's all about learning to deal with it and having a different frame of mind we both still have to work at it for the sake of our daughter and thankfully we're on the same page.
Like has been said you're in a better position than you were before I was financially ruined after court its took me 18 months to get straight again after working my nuts off solid to keep maintenance payments up and I easy spend the same again when I have my girl anyway.
All the best
Slim π
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