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Ever since my wife left with my son, Ive been feeling lost and confused. First direction hearing in May. However, what depresses me the most is that even if I am lucky with contact and get 50-50, I would still miss out on 50% of my sons life.
I just feel lonely and I hate coming back to an empty house. Feels like I'm living in a haunted house.
Does finding another partner help? Or will I be just as miserable.
I say this like finding a gf is easy or something lol. Ive been going gym to get back in shape.
I think a person needs to be in the right place mentally before embarking on a new relationship. It's very early days for you so I think it would be better for you to do some healing first, or you may find yourself in a rebound situation down the line and that wouldn't be good for you or any prospective GF.
Getting yourself back out there socially isn't such a bad idea though. 🙂
Hi There,
I do agree with Mojo in that if you enter into a relationship at this point it wouldn't be great for you, I think that actually finding some local clubs or groups that you have an interest in would be better, make some new friends tha you can talk too while at the club/groups ect and go from there.
Looking for love can sometimes be too much pressure when your going through the mill and you can attach onto someone that you don't really have strong feelings for because they are paying you attencion which is typical rebound relationship, it's fun at first but then when the fun slowly stops it can hurt even more than before you started.
Your going to the gym which is always good for your state of mind,
GTTS
I agree. Realistically, if you went out on a date, you might just end up talking about your ex and your son, and that's not a good start. You need to sort yourself out first, go out socially with friends, or go and take up an activity that you've always fancied doing and just get used to having fun in your own company first, then you'll be ready to move on to a new relationship.
not really mate. I think your dealing with this at a similar pace to me. Im nearly a year in with some considerable progress in the child arrangements but if im being honest it wouldn't be fair on any female getting involved with me romantically. My head still spins periodically most days but trust me mate, it will get better. See that 50/50 u refer to, you can do what you want WHEN that happens. Im not near 50/50 but I parent responsibly in my style permitting and allowing levels of normality I was never allowed to express when together.
I am talking about normal everyday stuff, not allowing excess sweets, sugar all the usual stuff but whereas before I had to seek approval for almost anything, I know im a good dad and now have much more independence in terms of decisions, where we go, what we eat, do we go to the football. before I basically had to ask permission but no more.
you will get there.
I look back at the ending of a disastrous relationship a few years ago. It seemed like the end of the world, I couldn't see how I could survive and the pain was almost unbearable. Now, I look back and realise how lucky I was to get out, what a let off. No kids involved that time, which does make it easier I know.
I also reckon it's easier for the woman involved. They tend to have a better support network of friends. It's also much easier for them to find a new relationship. A vulnerable woman is a bit attractive for a man, wheras I think women generally don't want the baggage in a man.
I've only just split up with my wife and we're sorting out the kids stuff. It's likely I will have custody of my daughter. I think this is probably the best solution for her and the best financial solution for me, BUT I reckon there are massive advantages to being the absent parent. Apart from freeing you up to go look at pastures new, everytime you see your son it will be a treat for him. You are the star parent who takes him out to places and buys stuff without all that boring normal day to day discipline stuff. You'll be much more motivated to make the time you have special than if you see him everyday. I reckon, although you will only see your son half as much at best, your relationship with him will be four times better as a result.
This could be a great opportunity to build an even better relationship with your son.