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I'm a dad of a 4 year old daughter. I split up with the mother after finally saying enough was enough after taking years of abuse, financial restraints and segregation.
I've now realised i'm in a part of the country where I know no one and the only thing I have to look forward to is seeing my daughter.
Unfortunately seeing my daughter is becoming harder and harder as I am being blackmailed for access. pay this or don see her and the fact is I cant pay what I don't have.
The thing is I don't want cause trouble for my daughter, so don't want to press charges. but feel stuck
I was the main parent, the one who brought her up, who put her to bed, who got her ready, who did everything and now i'm nothing.
has anyone else been through a similar thing and have any advice
is it possible to get 50/50 access or is that a pipe dream for dads
any help, advice or reassurance would be grateful
Hi there
I'm not sure what you mean by pressing charges, taking legal steps to make your time with your child more secure would only benefit her at the end of the day.
I understand that your involvement with your child has been greatly reduced, but I want to assure you that you are certainly not nothing! I'm sure your daughter loves you very much and the bond between you will still be there.
It is possible to get 50/50 or shared residence as part of a Child Arrangements Order....it's not a given though, but there's nothing to stop you going for it.
My advise is to stop listening to your ex and giving her so much power over you...you don't have to be held to ransom everytime she wants more.
Your first step would be to attend mediation, there is a charge for their services, unless your income is limited, speak to the mediator for more information on this...here's a link to their website.
www.nfm.org.uk
If this fails, or your ex refuses to attend, your next step would be to ask the mediation to sign the C100 form to allow you to apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order for shared residence. Without a solicitor this will cost £215 to apply, unless you are on benefits or a low income, in which case you may be entitled to a part or full exemption from the fees.
You don't need to pay out thousands for a solicitor, many dads here self represent and it's very doable. Have a look at the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section, there's lots of info about the court process and if you decide to go ahead we will support you as much as we can.
Best of luck
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