[Solved] cut off your ex

I had to do it, it was extremely difficult to do but I don't regret it as I could not have carried on with all the abuse the constant phone calls saying just kill yourself, slit your wrists do us all a favour it was horrendous.

Not only that it avoided any chance of her getting me arrested for harassment which even if you reply to any of it the Police will interpret any thing as a sign of you threatening her.

I had to change my mobile number 6 times in 3 months it was getting stupid it gave me chance to get my head together to fight through the courts.

Hi guys....

you are right! Good for you!
Once you free yourself from those shackles life becomes just that little bit better.
LnH has a dedicated mobile for his ex, after a certain time in the evening he doesn't
reply until the following morning.
She used to send in excess of 150 text messages a day (!)....it was torture tbh....whilst using the child
not just as a controlling mechanism but also as a power tool....

LnH is slowly becoming his old self again, no longer being this angst ridden person, fearing the ex's wrath when
doing things differently with his son....but becoming more and more confident as a parent....which in turn has a
knock on effect on the family as a whole.

Take care
Kirsten

Couldn't agree more!

I changed my number about 3 months ago, text messages last minute about pointless amendments to contact, messages attempting to provoke a response... it grinds you down.

Now, she has an email address for emergency issues, otherwise her solicitor can write to me.
And you know what - life is much less stressful 🙂

Glad to hear you're getting through it Brokendad.

All the best,
BD

I'm still going to try and build bridges mind at the contact centre just so I can say I tried 🙂

Unfortunately for me Slim, I think the only bridge built in my situation would be the one to hide the body under...

In all seriousness though, I do hope for a day when there can be "amicable" conversation between us, if only for the sake of the kids.
I won't be holding my breath for it though.

I doubt my ex will ever be civil maybe when and if she ever gets help with her drinking but I will keep on trying

I long to be civil with my EX, although reading these posts writen by you fellas I can see why he wont (I left him), Ive only ever tried to be amicable though, even now he has a new girlfriend and still refuses.

Our son has today been excluded from school, I personally put his defiant behaviour down to the fact that we dont get on, the fact we dont talk. He does what he wants with dad because dad wont tell me and visa versa. Today Ive begged him to move forward for the sake of our children, to put the past behind us and try and talk and come to some kind of normalitly to save our kids from going down a very bitter road.........only time will tell eh.

Hi brokendad,

You don't sound like a monster - you sound like a caring dad. It's great that you are trying to move on and not be so hard on yourself.

Concentrating on being the daddy you know you have always been destined to be sounds like a great aspiration.

Gooner.

Hi Crocs,

Our son has today been excluded from school, I personally put his defiant behaviour down to the fact that we dont get on, the fact we dont talk. He does what he wants with dad because dad wont tell me and visa versa. Today Ive begged him to move forward for the sake of our children, to put the past behind us and try and talk and come to some kind of normalitly to save our kids from going down a very bitter road.........only time will tell eh.

Sounds like a wonderful idea. I'm sure you both want the best for your kids. If the two of you are able to work on trying to be civil for the sake of your children - that would be great. You don't have to like each other just show respect and communicate with each other regarding the important things regarding the kids. That would also include both you showing respect when you're both on your own with the kids (i.e not bad mouthing the other parent in front of the kids).

Have you considered someone like relate who offer support for separating/separated couples to communicate effectively with each other after they have split?

Gooner

I've suggested everything! No doing.
His response tonight was "so, what do you want from me?"
I think I'm done. I'm taking slims advice and cutting him from my life now. I've too much going on to be dealing with that.

It is like talking to a brick wall with my ex, I said she done a good job bringing up my daughter at the contact on sat she replied "Yeah I have no thanks to you" I asked her when my Girls started walking and she replier "f**k off we're not here to talk play with your daughter" In the waiting room at courts I pleaded with her to get on for the sake of our girl and I got "f**K off you c**t I will never be civil with you for as long as I live" she then started shouting and screaming at me in front of of 10 people saying how I'm controlling and that I sexually assaulted her other daughter, the usher came in and asked one of us to go in the other waiting room so I did she then started shouting "yeah go on C**t play the victim you t**t"

All the way through the hearing she kept interupting the judges saying "he's got me here so he can control me I am trying to bring up MY girls alone and I can't do it if mr slim is harassing me all the time"

I swear I dont know whats going on in her head I mean she is defo an alcoholic I'm sure she's bi polar and drinks to self medicate and I'm sure she sufferes from pre and post natal depression as she was exactly the same with her first daughter towards her dad, he's a [censored] anyway but he was having none of the [censored] from her and just sacked her and his daughter off and never bothered since, I'm sure my ex thinks I will just do the same.

It is hard going at first cutting them off as it felt like I was walking out on my Girl but I honestly wanted to kill myself and I felt so worthless as my ex kept saying kill yourself all the time I'm so glad I did do it now and it's kept me from getting arrested she would phone me 30 - 40 times a day I'd answer she'd hurl abuse then say at the end of the call now leave me alone.

At the end of every text she would abuse me then say stop harrassing me even If I didn't reply it all bonkers I don't thinkk I will ever get my head round it all, My worst nightmare would be for my daughter to be caught in the middle of everything and even at the first contact she was shouting and swearing at me in front of my girl so god knows what the future will hold all the staff turned a blind eye too imagine if it was the other way round? shocking.