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Hi guys,
Our wives, ex wives , partners and ex partners were once our whole world, well that's how it was for me anyway, and I'm not being gushy or soppy in saying this as a normal bloke, I fell totally in love with a girl who in time became his wife and the mother of my 2 children. We were happy, sociable and rowed no more or less than most of us on here, usually about nothing more than me not pulling my weight or her leaving her straighteners on all day and burning her dressing table.
There were obviously bad patches, like everyone else has but these were early on and over something really big - I had just come out of a long term relationship and because it was messy, we both ended up cheating on each other but decided to forgive and forget and hopefully build a life together.
The years go by, we marry , we have children and I think our life is pretty good and we are all happy - Our 2.2 healthy, solvent NORMAL family! But then out of the blue 3 years ago, my wife decided to be an alcoholic but we cant label her an alcoholic because she also quite likes cocodomol tablets in the day to ease her hangovers I presume or maybe to to take the edge off.
This excuse for a life goes on like this for about 2 years - Finding bottles, the children finding bottles, me crying, all of us crying,me shouting, her screaming, her asking for help, me finding help, her laughing at me, her drinking and eventually, her starting to hit me. I can and did defend myself, which always ended up the next day in "you hit me" which simply wasn't true - My alcoholic wife had bruises on both arms from being carried to bed, while I was the one with a black eye.
We more or less separated 6 months ago but she physically moved out about a month ago, taking my 2 brave, wonderful children with her to her useless, frightened parents who find it much easier to blame me for her drinking. If that was the case, why are the children still telling me "mummy goes weird" and I'm still finding empties in the boot of her car?
However, despite all this, If when I see her she is nice to me,looks at me a certain way, smiles at me lovingly or puts a kiss on the end of a text message do my emotions get disturbed allover again and I start to imagine a happy ending to this nightmare?
So, my question is - Does anyone else have a crumb giving mood hover, and how do you deal with it?
Hi There,
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I can quite honestly say I have never felt regret for splitting with my ex wife, I think by the time I finally decided it was over I had had enough of her controlling ways and just wanted out, It took a lot for me to actually walk away but when I did and as soon as I did I knew I wasn't going back no matter what.
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I can see why you feel how you do as you are still in love with her, I wasn't that way I had fallen out of love with my ex a long time before we seperated.
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GTTS
same with me tbh, it went from me wanting to see her all the time to dreading having to see her because her of bad attitude but if I left her she would stop me seeing my son which ended up happening anyways but in a weird way I feel a sense of release from her control and constant watching and that's where I feel different because I'm now free lol
I've been through it 3 times. The first, we simply grew apart as lovers - we were married very young, and I think we both wanted more. We've stayed very good friends though. Second was an alcoholic, and I stayed married far too long, and as soon as I told her it was over, a massive weight was lifted, and never regretted it. The 3rd was the one that shook me - I thought we would grow old together, and I didn't want the divorce, but looking back, it was quite one sided, and I could see that there would have been trouble if we'd stayed married so now I don't regret it.