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hi all,
this is my first proper post here, normally i find the forums give me any advice i need before i have to ask 😀 anyway here goes.....
our little boy is due in just under 8 weeks and honestly were so excited, it our first child, we got married in july and to be fair we havent really got much to complain about, well maybe better wages but thats another story 😕 .
normally we get on great, but since she became pregnant all we seem to do argue, over really petty things. i actively tell myself its because she is pregnant, i even go ahead with what she wants even if i dont want to, so she doesnt get stressed out. we will go weeks being happy and what not then it all goes off.
tonight for instance, we must have gone 4/5 weeks without even a cross word spoken, then she flipped, wants me to leave, our marriage is a sham that should never have happened, threatens to leave herself which at over 8 months pregnant worries the [censored] out of me!!! then im every name under the sun because i wont let her wander the street at 11:30pm in the rain.
to make things worse i dont even know what it was about, it descends into a pool of tears and she ends up with stomach cramping which cant be good.
if i thought i was being selfish, unreasonable or whatever i could understand to an extent where this anger comes from, but all i do is try to support her. its getting to the point where although i love her to bits, i hate her at the same time. im treading on eggshells everyday at the moment and praying i can have the old wife back once nipper is here.
sorry for the rant guys but i needed to get it out before i went mad lol
so my question really is...........can i really be the hormones making her this volotile or is this sounding like something more serious? she has suffered from depression before which i helped her through, but i dont recognise the symptoms like they were previously.
cheers guys
Tony
Hi Tony
I'm sorry to hear that things are not so good in your relationship right now and I can understand how you must be feeling. Treading on eggshells around your wife puts you under tremendous strain.
As you've discovered, understanding how women feel and behave when they are pregnant can be a challenge! Each woman is different but all women are affected by hormonal, emotional and the obvious physical changes during pregnancy.
Moods can be a way of her letting you know that she's fed up so a gentle question and helpful suggestion from you could make all the difference but do this when she's in a good mood, - she'll be more likely to see things from yur point of view.
Having a baby can be a time of great excitement and happiness but it's also normal to have feelings of uncertainty as the big day approaches. Your wife may be feeling that she's lost her slimmer, independent self, and you may be wondering if you and she will ever be the same.
It can be useful to think of parenthood as rather like taking on a new job. It's exciting and different, but unknown, and we expect a bit of uncertainty as we learn the ropes. Being a parent is similar, with the bonus is that it's probably going to be the most exciting and rewarding job you'll ever have!
Talk as much as possible to your partner about your new roles as parents. Try to see where you are both coming from and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. You mention that she has had depression in the past, so don't let things slide. I know you say you don't recognise the symptoms this time, but it may be a good idea for her to talk to her GP or you could, just to put him/her in the picture.
I hope this helps. Good luck.
hi
have a word with her midwife you will find there details in her pregnancy folder.
if see has suffered depression in the past it is more than likely she is suffering from depression again. even more so when the baby arrives. its hard but no man understands the pregnancy hormones. just to let you know im a female and been there myself put my partner through [censored]. and suffered from depression
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