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[Solved] can i have your help imput

 
(@lydamore)
Eminent Member Registered

hi all

let me start from 8 months ago when i was with my EX who towards the end was pregnant and then lost the baby at 8 weeks it was a very rocky relashtionship she was always on my case arging over very petty things and in the end afder she punched me in the face spat at me i left .

now iv met someone she is a bit older then me has a young girl for a few weeks everything was going really good untill friday just gone we had a date night just bowling
very casual relaxing having fun unill she got drunk now i dont drink , so when we finished started walking out and she was very negative to me how she spoke , spoke to me like [censored] and on the drive home i had to pull over 4 times and at one point she said comfert me so i said you will be fine , afder that she said i think its best you go home
so i took her home made sure she was ok i sat downstairs why she had her head over the toilet.
next thing she was in bed and i checked her then i left a note to say see you tommrow.

and iv not seen her since iv spoke to her but not shown much intrest and she is hurting a lot but i now feel like running
my EX was always smoking weed and i hated it my partner now drinks a lot not over the top but every night glass of wine whiski or G&T

am i being to harsh , im so confused what i want now it like somthing has turned and im instantly like i want to be alone .
but i do love her and she is very caring and when iv not had money to take us for a meal or what ever she is there like come on where going

HELP

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 09/08/2016 2:55 am
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Hi Mate,
.
I think that you are being a little harsh, people do have different sides when they drink my wife is horrible when she is drunk and it's caused us quite a few issues.
.
But at the end of the day it's the drink talking and she probably feels bad for how things went.
.
I would go and talk with her and tell her that the person you saw that night wasn't the person you are atracted too and it's not how you want too see her, that's not to say you should tell her never to get drunk again, I'm like you I hardly drink and even if I drink a lot I don't get drunk (which is why I don't bother Lol) Telling her you don't want her to get drunk may be a bit strong, you have only been seeing her for a few weeks. but if she is feeling the same as you and wants things to go somewhere then hopefully she will make sure that while the 2 of you are out that she holds back a bit so you can enjoy your time.
.
You need to talk with her, if you want things to go anywhere, without talking and clearing the air then you won't have any future.
.
GTTS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 09/08/2016 11:17 am
(@lydamore)
Eminent Member Registered

hi mate

thank you for your reply
i do feel like im being very harsh and i cant qite get to grips with why i am being like this , afder messaging each other today it felt like i wasnt intrested like i didnt want to be with her i told her that im sorry as i cant explain whats going off in my head and why im being so harsh but she said no its fine and then started to say that she isnt praperd to be messed around and said i think its best we just end this now.
so now im back to single

im not sure whats going off mate in my head that is she was a great girl but it always comes to my mind is where she was drinking every night and drama that was around her , just made me think i dont need this i was struggling with the little girl like when she was crying it started to pull my strings i feel so bad for putting this but i guess to find out whats going off is to open up and talk

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 10/08/2016 12:28 am
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Morning,
.
I think if you had so many doubts then maybe it ending before it got to a point of being serious is better, especially when there was another child involved that could start to get close to you.
.
I think after a break up, you can easily latch onto someone thinking they are exactly what you are looking for, but slowly the cracks show and you start getting annoyed at things they do, if those things are showing up so early on, then it shows that maybe they aren't right for you.
.
It's the whole rebound thing, and your not the only one who has fallen into it.
.
GTTS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10/08/2016 11:18 am
(@lydamore)
Eminent Member Registered

aup mate

i wouldnt say it was a rebound as i was seeing other woman befor i got with her nothing relationship like just bit of fun but when i first met her we got on like a house on fire and we had so much in comon.

anyway today we have been speaking and iv come to the dission that im going to see her next week and go from there , i completly understand that as far as the child goes its bad to let her get a bond with me and of course this is not fair on the mother or the little girl so im going to try keep it to where its just me and her as apose to me her and the little girl .

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 11/08/2016 12:19 am
 Yoda
(@yoda)
Famed Member

I would just say take things steady, no relationship is perfect and you're bound to have doubts at the start of a new one. If you take things slowly then you have a better chance of getting to know each other properly and if her drinking becomes an issue then you will have to speak to her about it or make your mind up. I would also say try to take things slowly with her daughter too, as if you are uncertain and wanting to see how things develop, her feelings or potential attachment to you need to be considered.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11/08/2016 11:21 am
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