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3 months ago my wife went away for a fortnight with work. When she came home, it was obvious that something was wrong. She didnt say what was wrong, but after a few days digging and snooping I hacked her emails and found out that she had slept with somebody and had feelings for him. Our marriage had been, well, not quite right for a while, and after I confronted her with what I had found, she told me what had happened.
We have had couple counselling and things are a lot, lot better. She has said that its all over and will never happen again, and I am trying to sort my feelings out with regards to the infidelity.
But am I being a fool to think that it will never happen again? Its not in her character to cheat on people and she does seem to be really upset to think about what could have been thrown away. I really want to trust her, but.....
.... am I being a fool? ❓
Hi Spongebob
Broken trust is a real difficult thing to repair. You are bound to feel betrayed and angry and i guess its really important to work through these which could take a while. The big question is what do you want to do? Do you want to make it work for better and for worst or deep down do you think the damage is done. There is alot to take into consideration esp if you have kids, but trust can be rebuilt if forgiveness is really reached.
there are 2 articles on the site you should look at on forgivenss and trust
http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/articles/forgiveness.php
http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/articles/what_is_trust.php
The counselling is a great way forward and shows commitment on both your parts. Its importnat that you get to chat things though esp your feelings, keep us updated on how things go.
All the best buddy.
Thanks for the replies, I think it will just take me a while. She has done a lot of work to put things right, and yes, the counselling was great. I get the feeling that at the start she was convinced it was over, but the Counsellor raised a lot of issues that we had never thought of. At the end the Counsellor was amazed at the turn round and gave us well done for the work had put in at home away from the sessions. This was the crucial bit, we have put the work in.
So yeah, like Ronaldo said, don't give up whilst there is still some hope!
Spongebob - its a pleasure - keep talking about it bro.... I remember another close friend of mine going thought something like you are and i know its not an easy thing...
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