[Solved] advice needed please

I'm sorry to hear you are having a hard time.

It's difficult to find that work/life balance, you need to provide for your family and maintain a happy home life. This needs both of you to work together.

Have you thought about trying Relate? You need to reopen those lines of communication that have been lost and be helped to see it from each others point of view. Here's a link

www.relate.org.uk

No matter what you do don't leave. Once you live the house you will be in an even worse position. She will stop you seeing your kids.

Some times words fail me when I read what happens in relationships with people I thought it was only me things like this happened to, Firstly staying in a relationship for the sake of kids can do more damage than good for the kids as they pick up on things more easily than they are given credit for. Your partner is probably very frustrated that she isn't spending time and seeing you like she used to. I think if possible maybe sit down and explain the big picture and why it is you are doing all the work in order to provide and build a better future for all of you. If she is still adamant that she no longer wishes to be in this relationship you both need to again try and sort things out for the kids before it gets messy, what I mean by that is not fighting over who has them and when and all those points, Can I ask is she a good mother all in all and how does she look after them, I take it from your line of you are working long hours early starts and weekends even all these things need to be taken in to account when dealing with who has kids and when also keep up in your work during these times you need a focus and work is as good as any

Alternative,
Sorry to hear things aren't great right now...
The first thing I would say, the last thing i would say, much as pblack did, is "talk".

From what you've said, the work/home balance has changed a lot recently, and the other half has taken this as an attack at her as "you clearly don't want to spend time with her"...
In my experience, this sounds to me like she's feeling like you don't care (despite this not necessarily being the case). she's feeling angry and dejected, she gets wound up by it and lashes out at you by saying something in the heat of the moment.
It's escalated into an argument and both have said things that are clearly hurtful to the other.

If it were me (and that's unfortunately the only place I can give you advice from) I would look at getting some time together, just the two of you, when the kids have gone to bed or whatever, to sit down and talk.
Not to argue, shout and scream, but try and pin down what is upsetting her, and what is upsetting you.

My partner and I write an email to each other (silly i know but it works) putting down what the issue is. We read them, and then the following day we sit down and talk about them. It gives the opportunity for you to both be honest, and for you both to take on board what is being said, rather than things getting heated.

Relationships don't always work out, the majority of us on this forum know that, but sometimes the relationship isn't broken, there just isn't enough communication.

In either case, I hope you get things sorted out for the best.

BD.