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Hello,
My wife and I have been together 3 years, we moved to another part of UK for my job 2 years ago and got a mortgage. I have a 6 year old I travel to see on weekends.
We now have a 11 week old baby and things are getting difficult. At present my job is at risk as our whole department is being threatened with closure if performance doesn't increase. Everybody is working really hard and the stress has made people sick and prone to busting into tears. It used to be a nice place to work but we have been mismanaged into the ground. It's the kind of working environment where a missed dot on an 'i' can lead to serious consequences. I've been on the radar for a while and told I cannot make any more errors. Since our baby was born I've made a few because I had been up late with the baby. My wife is on maternity but expects me to get up during the night so she can sleep. Some nights that's not possible I'm ran down from work and if I don't rest I'll make more mistakes and we won't have money for our mortgage. I really don't know what to do. I stay up with the baby on weekends and I feel like I never rest. I do housework too, I always have been the main person that does. It feels like I am being pulled apart. From my perspective my wife is being paid maternity and hasn't anything else to do except care for the baby, which from my previous experience isn't the half as bad as what I'm doing now. She spends all day socializing with other mums and is going out tonight while I babysit.
How can I possibly do more for my partner without risking the roof over our heads?
How can I show I love my family more when I keep doing a job I hate and don't sit down till midnight cooking and cleaning?
Hi there
Something has to give, I think you need to talk to your partner about the pressures you are under and see if you can't come up with some solutions.
As far as the housework is concerned, you can try leaving it! It sounds as if she banks on the fact that you will do it. A bit of mess isn't the end of the world, sometimes you just have to let go of things to prove a point.
IMO your work is very important, it's what puts a roof over your heads and food on the table. I think you need to dish up a huge portion of honesty about your situation and if she cares about you and your relationship she should be prepared to pull her weight and work as a team.
Perhaps some couple counselling might help if you have a problem talking this through. Here's a link
www.relate.org.uk
Best of luck
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