[Solved] Access

Like I've mentioned before,she is totally unwilling to discuss anything,I've tried to be patient and suggest she bring him over for and take him back same day to begin with as i feel a gradual approach in the beginning would benefit all of us but she has flatly refused to agree to that,i dont see why me n my son should miss out on spending time together just because of her selfish reasons,and im also worried if this clinginess continues it will make my son clingy and needy and i dont want that for him, she has to realise im equally as important a parent as her and at the minute she doesn't at all

ok, then as you have exhausted all means, only other option would be court unfortunately. i didn't stick around too long before making application. i also dreaded missing summer weeks with the kids.

My advice would be to try and get some free legal advice some solicitors offer this only for half an hour but it's a start weight up your options.family courts aren't great but at least if you get a court order it would be on paper when you can see him and you can enforce the order if she doesn't.

I agree with Bill337 I wouldn't hang around to long take action now you might regret it if you don't.

Court really is a last resort for me, i absolutely dont want to do it but feel i have little choice as my ex wont be reasonable at all or discuss anything, I've always wanted to have a good relationship with her for our sons sake but sadly she just wants everything on her terms

Court is usually the last resort for most dads, if only for the cost and the anxiety. It took me over two years from first considering it to actually pursuing it. When I did actually go for it, I did so completely guilt-free, as all other options had been exhausted, and my sons mother was in the process of moving to the other side of the country as a her final answer to my wish to increase the amount of time my son and I spent together.

In most respects, I wish I'd done this sooner as I could see even at the time that her intransigence was unlikely to change as in her mind our son 'belonged' to her, and the status quo and my inability to change it (without resorting to the 'nuclear option' - Court) simply reinforced this screwy mentality. The main advantage for waiting in the end was it gave time for the then newly minted Child Arrangements act to come into use (2014), which gives more emphasis on the importance of both parents being involved with their children.

If she isn't budging, even in terms of planning future fairer sharing of time, then it does seem best to let her know that as you can't reach agreement on this, you'd like to invite her to discuss this through mediation first, after which you carry on to court if the disagreement persists. I'd be wary of anything agreed within mediation, as they can't be enforced, though I do remember my solicitor saying if my mediation worked we could apply for a Judge to ratify and sign the agreement. I'm not sure how correct that is, as my mediation didn't work and we proceeded.

Good luck with it all.