[Solved] Access

Hi and welcome. I presume that for your son to stay with you, you'd have to get a train to collect him, another to bring him back to your home, and then another 2 journeys to return him and for you to come back home again. That's going to cost you 4 journeys for you, instead of 2 currently, and if you ex did the journeys, presumably you'd have to pay for hers, so it would still be 4 adult journeys. Would it be easier and no more expensive for you to book a hotel room for the night and stay up there an extra day and have him with you for that time? Might be more acceptable to your ex, and a way of her getting used to him being away for a bit longer, but still not far away.

As a separate note, I would suggest that you look into learning to drive - as your son gets older, you are going to want to do more with him, and having a car will make that much easier.

hi MT81,

20 months old child is very young. have you ever babysit your child for the day or an overnight alone? we have to bear in mind that the younger the child, then the more protective & maternal the mother will behave. it's not always them having it in for us, for breaking up. in my case kids were aged 5 and 2 at the time. ex allowed only saturday visits. refused all overnights. claiming kids were not ready for that. spend good 7 months, only seeing kids on a saturday. something had to give. so went to court about it and got overnights.

and like you, i was getting frustrated. the thought of missing out on the summer weeks. thankfully court stuff got sorted in time, and i got to have great days out with my kids.

Thanks for your reply,im looking into learning to drive, my mum would take me to collect him so travel wouldn't be an issue, the issue is my ex is very clingy and dosent let him out of her sight which i dont feel benefits my son at all and obviously makes it harder for me to bond with him, i just want a fair crack at helping to raise my son and for him to spend time with me and my side of the family,but my ex is simply not willing to discuss this,i have tried to be reasonable and offered various propositions to her to make this easier for us all but i feel ive no option but to seek legal advice and go through courts, which is not something i particularly want to do, i just dont see how else it can be resolved

Thanks for your reply, i agree 20 months is still very young, which is why i would have preferred to gradually have my son for the day with a view to having him every other weekend,the problem i have is my ex is unwilling to agree to any arrangement i propose and i feel the longer this continues the harder it'll be for her to be apart from him, him to be apart from her and for me to bond with him,i dont particularly like my ex but i respect her as his mum and would like us to be amicable for our sons sake but i just feel its me making all the effort and getting nothing in return,