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1st time mum needs ...
 
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[Solved] 1st time mum needs advice

 
(@princessleah)
New Member Registered

hi,i despratly need some advice

my baby is nt yet hear i must point that out 1st,
the dad of my baby was so happy at 1st when w were together,then i found out he was seeing another girl,i confronted him and we split in december,i have told him dates and time for evry appointment and he has not showen for any,i min he wasnt 2 b there and b a dad then within hours he changes his mind and slaggs me off tells evryone it isnt his baby.
he recently began a relationship with a local girl whos family i would nt like my baby to b around.i stressed that fact to him,i neva askd him 2 break up with her or tryd to come inbetween them(long as hes happy i dont mind what he dose) he then told me they were over anyway,then to my shsock he kissed me and askd if he could spend time with me because he cant get these tims bak ie baby kicking,birth,picking a name etc
i was only to happy to let him,i have always wanted him to be a dad,i have never once said he cant or rose to any of his insults.then literally the next day we made plans and he didnt show only for me to find out his is still with the other girl and is lying to me again about it.
i spoke to him today and he was so nasty saying he hated me and the baby wasnt his,and made it clear evrything he had done other other nyt (kiss etc) was just to smooth over the fact he had missed the scan.
he stood infront of me and said now im back with her ur just pushd to the side,i replyd no problem the doors that way.

he constantly lies,walks in /out,neva gave me any help/support,ive bought evrything for the baby,he dosent no how to change a nappy or even what milk to buy her

what do i do for the best,im at the end of the line its getting me so down,do i cut him out? do i keep him involved to simply keep going round in circles?

someone please help me xxx

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 17/03/2012 5:27 pm
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

hi and welcome

From the sound of it, you need to be out of this relationship and don't give him any chance to return - that's easy for me to say, but it's up to you to carry it out, but I suspect you know this anyway.

As for when the baby is born, I would say that if he does want to be involved in the baby's life, and hopefully he will, then he needs to prove that he can be a proper father. From the sound of his behaviour, I would be looking for supervised contact for quite some time - it all depends on his actions over the next few months.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18/03/2012 12:55 am
(@hope12)
Active Member Registered

Hi,

As a father to be myself, firstly I will say well done in making an effort for giving your best chance of givng your child a father in his/her life! However, I would say to please prioritise your child in every step you make. If you feel that he wont give the required love for the child then its best that you keep the distance between them. As for yourself, you can't beat yourself up and let others put you down! It's happening to my gf and I hate seeing her upset. I tell her what I will tell you, your child needs you in a cheery mood and healthy! Stress is not healthy for you or the child. Enjoy the moment and look forward to meeting the new one!

best of luck,

A

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Posted : 13/06/2012 9:38 pm
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