[Solved] Story: fast changing story lines & funny

a slendertone muscle belt! Yes he could hook that up to the phone line to do 2 super human things: ring and get burger king to deliver and to remotely control the inbound missile..."please send me a rodeo burger - ok, thanks" klick, w hr r
"new target coordinates accepted".
the crisis was over! the decepticons had gone & peace was at hand.
He went back to his country mansion to relax and forget the last 24 hours of crazyness.
From his rocking chair he heard what sounded like an axe thumping onto the front door...

possessing lots of books doesn't make me clever - i would have to read them all.
so imho you aren't greedy unless you chomp through them at some crazy rate.

Bruce is careless & should stop throwing his eyes around 😀
The light from his room had cast a shadow of himself. His true self: Woddawik.
Even his closest friends didn't realise that Bruce was his second name. He wanted to be a lumberjack...

Think 'life of Brian' how Caesar would pronounce his Rs

and time passed quickly, funding fell in place, & Roderick visited the moon briefly. He quickly confirmed that the moon IS made of cheese - but its very very ripe and runny. so boulders, hills, lunar modules and people all sink into the surface.
Roderick closed his eyes, clicked his heels together and he felt himself move thorough time and space.
What a deafening sound of shuffling feet & moaning. He opened his eyes and his worst fear was happening...

...After a couple of hours all that remote killing and hacking had made him hungry so he rang down and told his butler to rustle up some lunch and bring it up.... a short while later he heard the familiar sound of Gaylords shoes tip tapping on the oak floor as he approached the door to Rodericks room. As the door creaked open, without looking up Roderick said....."Just put it on the tabl.....aaaaaaaaargggghhhhhhhhhhh.......

Gaylord was burying his fangs into Roderick's neck. Tickle me pink, he thought, as he slapped a10 ounce streak in Gaylord's face - causing him to release his grip and collapse lifeless to the floor. What a week! "all i need now is for a werewolf to knock at the door"..

...After cleaning his neck up he remembered the vampire killing kit that was stowed away in the wardrobe.... He retrieved it and finished Gaylord off with a stake driven swiftly into his heart. He grabbed the gold cross and placed it around his neck, and tucked the bottle of holy water into his pocket....Standing up he threw a glance at Gaylords body.....He was a loyal servant, whoever got to him is going to be real sorry, he thought as he picked his glance back up, and wiped a tear from one of his eyes.... Striding to the window, with one quick movement it was open and he was outside, the darkness of the night enveloping him as he dissappeared into the swirling mist...In the distance he thought he could hear a howling, long and low, it chilled his blood......

it was a bitterly cold wind & now it was whistling 🙂 but it was important to find a way to make his blood warm up and flow better. He took an aspirin & stuffed a hot water bottle up his jumper.
There was a tap on the door (funny man that plumber). Roderick opened the door and a red head walked in, no hair, red head. She rolled her eyes at him. So he picked them up & rolled them back. Aarghh she was a zombie! but his vampire weapons were useless. What was he to do?

...very quickly he remembered those lessons on how to throw his voice! ..."over here Red, over here!" She turned and walked towards where Roderick had thrown his voice, with the speed of light he did a flying leap and with trememdous force kicked her to the ground. He had spotted a spade leaning against the wall as he flew through the air and grabbing it, chopped through her big red head severing it from her body... He retrieved his voice.....Hhhhum.. Crikey O reilly!! vampires, zombies, what ever next???? ....There was that long, low howling sound again, only louder and closer this time...

he didn't have time to find out because Spock interrupted the Holo deck - images & characters fading into nothingness.
"Captain. there's a long low howling and its getting even closer."
"open up hailing frequencies and beam a scouting party to the surface - set phasers to stun."
earlier that day they had wondered what the swirling mist was in their path...

"unidentified craft closing in"
The writing on the side named it as Red Dwarf.
"Lister & Rimmer here and we're on our way to talk to the young adults before the space police pull them over"
but before they could do anything the low howling was nearer than it had ever been...

...."Chekov I said fire a...Chekov?..The sentence dissolved on his tongue as he looked around and saw Chekov slumped in his chair the smoke swirking round him, his eyes like slits,his lips stretched across his face in a mad gurn...Chill man chill....ha ha ha ha ha! he he he he!
Kirks eyes whipped around the space deck the smoke was everywhere, his crew...oh my god....... the smoke....the long low howling closer, closer still...