[Solved] Story: fast changing story lines & funny

She was finished and there was a deadly silence - except for a distant shuffling of feet and a low groaning.
The setting looked familiar... yes, it was! it was Resident Evil.
Time to look for his favourite tools: a feather to tickle the zombies; and a mop to clean up the mess. He quickly found these and was ready to get on with what he had promised his Farther...

the walk through the sewers was the best idea he had - no zombies there!
"can i help you?"
he almost fell for it... she was a talking zombie, so he tickled her until she laughed her head off. he didn't bother clearing up with the mop.
he leapt over the counter and made his dads burger grabbing different sauces as he left.
the sewers were now blocked with floaters so he had to get back through the 3 foot snow

After kissing his Dad goodbye he climbed out of the bathroom window [and scratched his head because he could have gone out of the front door]. Up the ladder and into the 'copter. He called the operator and straight away he could fly (yay Matrix).
He flew for 2 minutes until he saw a public phone box. Landing was bumpy but a quick way to finish more zombies.
the operator recognised his voice and let him back onto the ship. They headed back till the city. Unsure what would happen next..

... pizza and fizzy cola. They had to leave early whilst watching a rental movie at Bruce's.
Bruce laughed and shouted up "you can pick something from our watch list and I'll come up with something from the bar."
On entering his room Bruce wasn't prepared for what met his eyes. He had been MISTAKEN it was NOT the deceptecons. 🙂 The top half of the being infront of him looked like his Dad and the bottom half looked like Slenderman - but only briefly - the final transformation was complete. That burger was the only think that helped him transform from Slenderman to Trender Man (the sassy cousing of Slenderman) - looking like a shop dummy wearing smart clothes and no visible face.
How could he reverse this and get his Dad back... what was the opposite of a Big Tastey? Was there time to fix this before the inbound nuclear missile would hit? What should Bruce do first?

a slendertone muscle belt! Yes he could hook that up to the phone line to do 2 super human things: ring and get burger king to deliver and to remotely control the inbound missile..."please send me a rodeo burger - ok, thanks" klick, w hr r
"new target coordinates accepted".
the crisis was over! the decepticons had gone & peace was at hand.
He went back to his country mansion to relax and forget the last 24 hours of crazyness.
From his rocking chair he heard what sounded like an axe thumping onto the front door...

possessing lots of books doesn't make me clever - i would have to read them all.
so imho you aren't greedy unless you chomp through them at some crazy rate.

Bruce is careless & should stop throwing his eyes around 😀
The light from his room had cast a shadow of himself. His true self: Woddawik.
Even his closest friends didn't realise that Bruce was his second name. He wanted to be a lumberjack...

Think 'life of Brian' how Caesar would pronounce his Rs

and time passed quickly, funding fell in place, & Roderick visited the moon briefly. He quickly confirmed that the moon IS made of cheese - but its very very ripe and runny. so boulders, hills, lunar modules and people all sink into the surface.
Roderick closed his eyes, clicked his heels together and he felt himself move thorough time and space.
What a deafening sound of shuffling feet & moaning. He opened his eyes and his worst fear was happening...

...After a couple of hours all that remote killing and hacking had made him hungry so he rang down and told his butler to rustle up some lunch and bring it up.... a short while later he heard the familiar sound of Gaylords shoes tip tapping on the oak floor as he approached the door to Rodericks room. As the door creaked open, without looking up Roderick said....."Just put it on the tabl.....aaaaaaaaargggghhhhhhhhhhh.......

Gaylord was burying his fangs into Roderick's neck. Tickle me pink, he thought, as he slapped a10 ounce streak in Gaylord's face - causing him to release his grip and collapse lifeless to the floor. What a week! "all i need now is for a werewolf to knock at the door"..

...After cleaning his neck up he remembered the vampire killing kit that was stowed away in the wardrobe.... He retrieved it and finished Gaylord off with a stake driven swiftly into his heart. He grabbed the gold cross and placed it around his neck, and tucked the bottle of holy water into his pocket....Standing up he threw a glance at Gaylords body.....He was a loyal servant, whoever got to him is going to be real sorry, he thought as he picked his glance back up, and wiped a tear from one of his eyes.... Striding to the window, with one quick movement it was open and he was outside, the darkness of the night enveloping him as he dissappeared into the swirling mist...In the distance he thought he could hear a howling, long and low, it chilled his blood......

it was a bitterly cold wind & now it was whistling 🙂 but it was important to find a way to make his blood warm up and flow better. He took an aspirin & stuffed a hot water bottle up his jumper.
There was a tap on the door (funny man that plumber). Roderick opened the door and a red head walked in, no hair, red head. She rolled her eyes at him. So he picked them up & rolled them back. Aarghh she was a zombie! but his vampire weapons were useless. What was he to do?

...very quickly he remembered those lessons on how to throw his voice! ..."over here Red, over here!" She turned and walked towards where Roderick had thrown his voice, with the speed of light he did a flying leap and with trememdous force kicked her to the ground. He had spotted a spade leaning against the wall as he flew through the air and grabbing it, chopped through her big red head severing it from her body... He retrieved his voice.....Hhhhum.. Crikey O reilly!! vampires, zombies, what ever next???? ....There was that long, low howling sound again, only louder and closer this time...

he didn't have time to find out because Spock interrupted the Holo deck - images & characters fading into nothingness.
"Captain. there's a long low howling and its getting even closer."
"open up hailing frequencies and beam a scouting party to the surface - set phasers to stun."
earlier that day they had wondered what the swirling mist was in their path...

"unidentified craft closing in"
The writing on the side named it as Red Dwarf.
"Lister & Rimmer here and we're on our way to talk to the young adults before the space police pull them over"
but before they could do anything the low howling was nearer than it had ever been...

...."Chekov I said fire a...Chekov?..The sentence dissolved on his tongue as he looked around and saw Chekov slumped in his chair the smoke swirking round him, his eyes like slits,his lips stretched across his face in a mad gurn...Chill man chill....ha ha ha ha ha! he he he he!
Kirks eyes whipped around the space deck the smoke was everywhere, his crew...oh my god....... the smoke....the long low howling closer, closer still...

"captain, the engine. she canna do it - that's ONE reason there's a low howling noise"

...Spocks last words were drowned out by the howling, it was ear splitting, unbearable...he dropped to his knees, his hands clasped over his ears...the noise, it was inside head......noooooooooooooooooo. On all fours now his transformation began..... throught the window the moon was full and glowing with an eerie light....

SUDDENLY the transformation was complete. Starscream said "Get out the feathers and mops. We're going hunting. We've got to get those Tribbles out of the ship - their noise its nearly deafening!" With that a Tribble plopped into his tea.
All the crew transformed and used the mops to get the Tribbles into the transporter room and had them beamed to the nearest planet. No matter how fast they got rid of the Tribbles they were multiplying at an even faster rate. what could they do?

But of course, Spock was known as Cain when he was a Wereliger. So he started running around the ship biting every Tribble he came across. The silver nitrate in his bite worked wonders.

...but with Cain out of the way the Tribbles were scurrying around everywhere in the ship. Their purring was getting annoying. How to stop them multiplying? Kirk had an idea how to get rid of these small furry creatures...

...".Give me warp speed Scotty, lets get outta here... Black Dynamite, meet me in the transporter room, we'll have you back before you can say energise!" ..."Dr. hows that antidote coming on, we need Spock back now.... We have a situation"....

Kirk was correct . Black Dynamite had been sent 'back' before anyone said energise. So the Klingons went searching in another direction and left the SS Enterprise and her crew alone.
But now we had that situation of getting Spock back.
"I have it here!" said Bones. ffsssst "how does that feel"
Cain was gone and Spook was back - oh no, another crisis: it was Spock but from a scarey parallel universe.
"Don't panic" said Pike
FFFFssst. "okay, we've cured that typo. Spock is back"
"Has anyone seen Mr Mannering?"

....Dont tell em your name Pike.... they dont like it up em sir!!!!!!...Mr Mainwaring aint here sir!...Corporal Lance Jones reporting for duty....sir!
Whistle while you work, Hitler is a twerp, he's half barmy , so's his army, whistle while you work! :whistle: :whistle: :whistle:
Pike, Pike stop that singing, pay attention lad!! where are we Corporal...where are we.......

It had happened when they least expected it. The bloke upstairs had changed the channel and as usual their set had gone to the same channell.
"Quick! Change back"
"Doh, too late, that vampire / transformer / star treck special has finished!#'%"
They decided to wander down to the pub because once the TV was on the blink they couldn't watch a whole programme.
The Dog and Duck was jam packed because...........

...The whole of the street had had a power cut, the pub had its own generator and it was a floodlit haven in the dark, everyone was drawn to it like moths to a light....
Does anyone know whats happened? People were on their mobiles trying to find out and a crowd had gathered outside, the bar and lounge full to overflowing by now.... suddenly down the street came a convoy of police cars, sirens screaming. They screeched to a halt surrounding the pub, men all in black with their faces covered, leapt out andf using their cars for cover a row of semi automatic guns was trained on us....".What the F***....
DOWN ON THE FLOOR, FACE DOWN, HANDS ON YOUR HEADS. NOW....ONE FALSE MOVE AND WE WILL SHOOT TO KILL....

Naturally we did as we were told.
"Ha ha ha" came the voice "I didn't say Simon Said, you 're out!"
With that there was a terrible percussion of automatic weapons.
How could it be that they were still standing?
"Blanks! Did you really think we'd shoot you?... We need to you pedal bicycles at the local EcoPower Station."
It was then that Reginald realised why people kept disappearing, several streets at a time. Was this how the country had been generating electricity?...

With that the story had a sudden change - It was a sunny day and....