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i hope loads of you can add a joke or few....
I will start us off.
(this is a paraphrase of one from Milton Jones....)
My mum used to say "the train is coming, the train is coming."
I knew she wouldn't let me get my head off the track until I had eaten what was on the spoon.
I found this one in the Belfast Times 100 best jokes from [not] this year's Edinburgh Fringe festival
32
"The tattooist said to me that she didn't believe in anaesthetic. I said: 'I assure you, it does exist." Diane Spencer, Gilded Balloon
97
"I'll never forget the day when I got a rear-view mirror installed for the car. I never looked back after that!" Jimmy Cricket, Pleasance Dome
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