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Hi all,
Here's a blonde joke to start this thread on its merry way.
By the way, I consider myself to frequently have "blonde moments" 😉
/MrOrange
A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits.
She's desperate, so she decides to ask God for help.
She begins to pray... 'God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money,
I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery.'
Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.
She again prays... 'God, please let me win the lottery!
I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.'
Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.
Once again, she prays... 'My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car.
My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You.
PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life
back in order.'
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself....
'Sweetheart, work with Me on this.... Buy a ticket.
isn't god meant to be a holy, righteous, perfect, sinless god.
God tellin a blond to gamble on the lotto? mmmmmmmmmm doubt it
Hi JJ,
oops. Apologies. I hadn't thought about the potentially sensitive nature of the joke.
So... Here is a replacement blonde joke 🙂 Please disregard the other one.
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
Here are a few more - I hope somebody has a few more to add...
There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
IN A VACUUM: A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It
was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond.
"They're watch dogs!"
Well I couldnt resist!!!
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?â€Â
To which she replied, “There certainly is!â€Â
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!†😆
How do you know if a blonde has been using your PC ?
Correction fluid on the monitor screen.
Blonde is in an Italian restaurant and orders a pizza.
The waiter asks if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
A blonde said,
"I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off.
I was relieved when he told me all I needed was 'turn signal' fluid."
😆
Blonde to Chicago
A Blonde sitting on first class. The flight attendant takes her ticket and says,"This is a ticket for coach, not for first class."
The Blonde replied," I'm Blonde, I'm Beautiful and I^m going to Chicago."
Then the pilot came out and asked what was going on here and the flight attendant told the pilot the situation. So the pilot went over and whispered something in the Blonde^s ear and she hurried back to coach.
The flight attendant then asked," What did you tell her?"
The pilot replied," I just told her that first class wasn^t going to Chicago.
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