Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Police Chief: All alert a riot is going on guard the exist so that prisoners won't escape.
Jail Guard: Chief a prisoner managed to escaped.
Police Chief: How did he manage to escape when we all guard the possible exit and escape areas?
Jail Guard: He pass through the entrance! 
@anderzon - if you aren't based abroad, or on night shifts, you really need to be getting some sleep 😆
A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece of celery up his nose....
The Doctor said "I can tell you right now, you're not eating right!"
Teacher: "What is E.T. short for?"
Pupil: "Is it because he only has little legs!"
A policeman drew a polyhedron on my photo-card ................................................................................................. I can't believe it - six points on my licence
I would like to thank Russell Kane for this joke who twittered it today.
a team leader had an announcement.
Team Lead: If you submit a sick leave since you were absent for 2-3 days its better if there is an attachment.
1 day after.
Team lead: someone misunderstood my point last time about attachment. You should attach medical certificate and not the doctors contact number.
A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds the newspaper, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the market. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"
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"No," the woman replies. "I'm a divorce attorney." 😮 lol:
Brilliant 😆
..though surely, she wouldn't have handed the quarter back to the father 😆
I got those new Viagra eye drops today.....
They make me look really hard!!!
😆 😆 Thanks !!!
I've got a step ladder. It's nice, but I'm sad I don't know my real ladder.
Got one of my new viagra tablets stuck in my throat last week......I've had a stiff neck ever since!!! 😆
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
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- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.