Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I have sorted out the next month - conveniently working from home on the key days and looking forward to watching as much football as possible.
Still need to find a way of watching the football on the big TV which my wife (selfishly I must add) refuses to give up.
As I am right out of brownie points and cant afford a new one how do I get the TV?
Any suggestions?
I'd say you've had a lucky escape 😀
I'd suggest letting your other half watch whatever she wants in between matches and maybe watch some soaps or rom-coms with her. I'm sure that will get you a few matches!
Chris
Could you try the old "It's only once every 4 years. I will do x for the next 4 if you let me watch", while keeping your fingers crossed behind your back 😉
OK, so let’s assume England go all the way. That's 7 matches you need to see. I think I have the solution.
Match 1:
Get all your mates to make the same suggestion to their wives: That all the girls get together and have an anti-World Cup party. Make sure they have this shindig at the house with the smallest TV. Then all the boys meet up at the house with the largest TV (and largest fridge would be a bonus) to watch the match.
Match 2:
Call up your wife's best friend and say "Oh she's been so down recently, crying and obviously upset, It's a bit personal you know. I know she doesn't want to talk about it, but I think it would do her good to get out for a night. Unfortunately, the only night she can make it is ". Then go to your wife and say "Oh I bumped into so and so earlier. She looked really down, said she might call to see if you fancied a get together on . Cheer her up a bit"
Match 3:
Five minutes before kickoff, call your wife (from just round the corner) and say you are stranded at a point (of your choosing) 55 minutes away. The time it takes her to drive there and back will give you enough time to watch this match. When she comes home (presumably a bit angry), you say "no, no you misheard, I said I was stranded at 'the shops', not 'Cleethorpes' " ...you will obviously need to adapt your own ending, depending on location.
Match 4 (last 16):
Call the police (from a public call box) and tell them that your wife's car has been stolen by a bunny boiling mad woman who is claiming to be your wife. Give them her registration and rough location and then turn your phone off, so that she can't get hold of you, with her 'one phone call'. After the match, turn your phone back on and go to the police station, claiming it must have been kids in a phone box. Hug her; she could be upset.
Match 5 (Quarters):
Arrange a nice candlelit dinner at home. Warm bath. Gentle music. Soft lighting. Pass a few comments about those special moments from your past together. Generally just lull her in to dropping her defences. Most importantly, leave the bottle of wine in the kitchen, so that she can never see you refilling it. You can see where this is going. Each time you refill her glass, add a little something extra ...a large vodka ...some ground diazepam ... Rohypnol ...this really does come down to personal preference. You may have to put up with some snoring, but you could always put a peg on her nose, sock in her mouth, or whatever. In the morning, when she comes round act hurt that she passed out and spoiled such a romantic evening.
Match 6 (Semis):
Beg. Tell her "It's the World Cup Semi-Finals. Please. PLEASE. I will massage your feet with lavender oil for the rest of my unworthy life, if you'll just let me watch this one match. They'll never get through to the final. They never do. This is my last chance to see them. My last chance!" It goes without saying that you rescind this offer as soon as the match is over ..."Yeah, well they won and it wasn't my last chance to see them, so it doesn't count ...and I had my fingers crossed anyway."
Match 7 (Final):
Ask her to help you just fetch something from the shed. Then as she steps over the threshold, push her in, slam the door shut, either padlock it, or wedge a broom through the handles to prevent opening and then run back to the house shouting "LA, LA, LA, LA, LA" with your fingers in your ears.
...well it is the final
Very good!
You could always go for this approach http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/life/article45971.ece
Whether you'll still have a marriage/relationship left at the end of it another question.
send her around to her mothers.
Ratso - great ideas 😆
Ratso beware
My wife has just read this and it seems that you may be joining me in the doghouse!!
Welcome my friend!!! 😆
Ratso some of those were brilliant 😆 I'm having a World Cup barbeque, with friends and family over while the England match is on so there'll be no problem seeing that game. Do you think I could plan a party for every game or do you think that's a bit obvious? 😉
Chris
Guys - perfect solution : Take your other half to see [censored] and the City 2
As painful as it is to watch that rubbish it should earn you a whole world cups worth of brownie points.
Think I would rather not watch it than have to suffer that - did you wear a mask in case you were recognised?
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.