[Solved] Help needed - watching the world cup!

I'd say you've had a lucky escape 😀

I'd suggest letting your other half watch whatever she wants in between matches and maybe watch some soaps or rom-coms with her. I'm sure that will get you a few matches!

Chris

Could you try the old "It's only once every 4 years. I will do x for the next 4 if you let me watch", while keeping your fingers crossed behind your back 😉

OK, so let’s assume England go all the way. That's 7 matches you need to see. I think I have the solution.

Match 1:
Get all your mates to make the same suggestion to their wives: That all the girls get together and have an anti-World Cup party. Make sure they have this shindig at the house with the smallest TV. Then all the boys meet up at the house with the largest TV (and largest fridge would be a bonus) to watch the match.

Match 2:
Call up your wife's best friend and say "Oh she's been so down recently, crying and obviously upset, It's a bit personal you know. I know she doesn't want to talk about it, but I think it would do her good to get out for a night. Unfortunately, the only night she can make it is ". Then go to your wife and say "Oh I bumped into so and so earlier. She looked really down, said she might call to see if you fancied a get together on . Cheer her up a bit"

Match 3:
Five minutes before kickoff, call your wife (from just round the corner) and say you are stranded at a point (of your choosing) 55 minutes away. The time it takes her to drive there and back will give you enough time to watch this match. When she comes home (presumably a bit angry), you say "no, no you misheard, I said I was stranded at 'the shops', not 'Cleethorpes' " ...you will obviously need to adapt your own ending, depending on location.

Match 4 (last 16):
Call the police (from a public call box) and tell them that your wife's car has been stolen by a bunny boiling mad woman who is claiming to be your wife. Give them her registration and rough location and then turn your phone off, so that she can't get hold of you, with her 'one phone call'. After the match, turn your phone back on and go to the police station, claiming it must have been kids in a phone box. Hug her; she could be upset.

Match 5 (Quarters):
Arrange a nice candlelit dinner at home. Warm bath. Gentle music. Soft lighting. Pass a few comments about those special moments from your past together. Generally just lull her in to dropping her defences. Most importantly, leave the bottle of wine in the kitchen, so that she can never see you refilling it. You can see where this is going. Each time you refill her glass, add a little something extra ...a large vodka ...some ground diazepam ... Rohypnol ...this really does come down to personal preference. You may have to put up with some snoring, but you could always put a peg on her nose, sock in her mouth, or whatever. In the morning, when she comes round act hurt that she passed out and spoiled such a romantic evening.

Match 6 (Semis):
Beg. Tell her "It's the World Cup Semi-Finals. Please. PLEASE. I will massage your feet with lavender oil for the rest of my unworthy life, if you'll just let me watch this one match. They'll never get through to the final. They never do. This is my last chance to see them. My last chance!" It goes without saying that you rescind this offer as soon as the match is over ..."Yeah, well they won and it wasn't my last chance to see them, so it doesn't count ...and I had my fingers crossed anyway."

Match 7 (Final):
Ask her to help you just fetch something from the shed. Then as she steps over the threshold, push her in, slam the door shut, either padlock it, or wedge a broom through the handles to prevent opening and then run back to the house shouting "LA, LA, LA, LA, LA" with your fingers in your ears.

...well it is the final

Very good!

You could always go for this approach http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/life/article45971.ece
Whether you'll still have a marriage/relationship left at the end of it another question.

send her around to her mothers.

Ratso - great ideas 😆

Ratso beware

My wife has just read this and it seems that you may be joining me in the doghouse!!

Welcome my friend!!! 😆

Ratso some of those were brilliant 😆 I'm having a World Cup barbeque, with friends and family over while the England match is on so there'll be no problem seeing that game. Do you think I could plan a party for every game or do you think that's a bit obvious? 😉

Chris

Guys - perfect solution : Take your other half to see [censored] and the City 2

As painful as it is to watch that rubbish it should earn you a whole world cups worth of brownie points.

Think I would rather not watch it than have to suffer that - did you wear a mask in case you were recognised?

How about asking her to watch it with you? Maybe buy her a bottle of wine when you pick up your lagers, and try to get her excited about the games by telling her you'd really like her to watch them because you'd enjoy her company. You could try telling her about some of the players if she doesn't know, so she can feel like she's involved in something you like, instead of feeling like another Footie Widow.

Did that at the 2002 World Cup and nearly throttled her with all the stupid questions like

"Is Gary Lineker playing?"
" Are Barcelona in this?"

therefore that is certainly not an option!

Did that at the 2002 World Cup and nearly throttled her with all the stupid questions like

"Is Gary Lineker playing?"
" Are Barcelona in this?"

therefore that is certainly not an option!

Yeah, I watched the England game Saturday with people who asked:
"Is Beckham playing?" and "How long is a half?"

Sometimes you've just got to draw the line.

I was driving home this evening and listening to the Brazil game on R5 ...and I found myself sympathising with my wife. Those [censored] vuvuzelas are driving me nuts. I wouldn't change it, they are part if the culture and all that. But I miss the chanting and singing and drumming; that's part of the whole atmosphere to me. All I can hear is the drone of those [censored] horns. It's not even a week old yet and already I'm dribbling and sick of the sound of them. 😥

I am looking forward to hearing them at Wimbledon or the snooker!!!

Snooker. Now there's a man's game. I remember watching it some years (decades 😳 ) ago. The match hadn't started yet and the commentators were just chatting about nothing in particular; setting the scene ...while the cameras panned round, behind scenes, audience shots, contenders getting ready. When out of the blue Alex Higgins appears, dragging a crate of beer behind him and pushes it under his table. Man food for man sports!