4-4-2
Because it’s what we do ...and we don’t seem to be able to play it any other way
Gordon Banks
To be honest it doesn’t really matter who plays here, because no one will get through (see defence strategy). Banks pips Shilton because of ‘that save’ against Pele and because in my world there was no car accident and he played on for another 10 years, becoming the greatest keeper the planet has ever known
Tommy Smith ‘The Anfield Iron’ / Terry [the] Butcher / Norman ‘bites yer legs’ Hunter / Stuart ‘psycho’ Pearce
OK – my team has been built around the meanest nastiest bunch of axe wielding nutters I could find to defend the goal. My theory is that if I lined this lot up, no one would be stupid enough to try and get past them and even if they were that stupid ...let’s just say they probably wouldn’t get through.
David Beckham (C) / Paul Gascoigne / Bobby Charlton / Duncan Edwards
I don’t have to worry about a defensive midfield (see defence strategy).
Becks: love him or hate him, his crossing, dedication, work rate, patriotism & conduct (forgiving the girly kick) are all exemplary
Gazza: In my world he fulfils his potential and keeps it together
Sir Bob: England’s top goal scorer ever ...’nuff said
Edwards: In my world there was no Munich disaster and I would like to see if he really did become our greatest player ever
Wayne Rooney / Alan Shearer
Rooney: For what he has still to achieve. Ooh, can you imagine a team with both Gazza and Wazza at their peak
Shearer: A good team should have a poacher and at least one striker over five foot tall (hence Linekar and Owen on the bench)
Subs: Peter Shilton, Bobby Moore, Paul Scholes, Bryan Robson, Gary Linekar, Michael Owen
Manager: Brian Clough of course ...well someone had to give him a chance at that top job
OK - I've given this some thought overnight and come up with my 'Rest of the World XI' that I would like my team to play against. Here goes:
Ref: Pierluigi Collina
No contest. I sure as [censored] wouldn’t mess with him.
Manager: Jose Morinho
Proven across many countries, will be perfect choice for a 'rest of the world' squad
Pele / Roger Milla
Pele: Couldn’t really leave him out ...and besides Banks is keeper for England 🙂
Milla: Best goal celebration, put Cameroon on the football map, smiles loads and was still playing at 142 years of age
Ryan Giggs (C) / Maradona / Socrates / George Best
Giggs: Pretty much same reasons as Becks ...a great ambassador
Maradona: I know he made a fool out of Butcher once before, but I’d like to see him get past my defensive line
Socrates: Fantastic name, holds a doctorate, smokes, drinks and plays football like he’s just woken up and can’t find his fags. Love him.
Best: Because in my world, he kept it together and became even better ...and I’d like to see that
Paulo Maldini / Andres Escobar / Alexi Lalas / Tomas Repka
Maldini: Got to really have an Italian in there somewhere
Escobar: We may need to rely on an own goal, if things don’t go well ...and if all esle fails we could just have him shot
Lalas: I’ve seen his pictures and I believe he may be Jesus, so should probably be in the team
Repka: This guy is my back up plan; famous for holding the record for greatest number of red cards (16). So there’s a good chance they’ll go a player down
Rene Higuita
He's just a nutter. Scorpion kicks. Running up field, taking people on. Scoring goals. And that hair. And he's fat. What is he on?
Subs: Lev Yashin, Roberto Carlos, Cristiano Ronaldo (just to watch him pout on the bench), Archie Gemmill (I’m sure he’s got a second goal in him), Gerd Muller, Ronaldo (the fat one from Brazil)