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Hi i know this site is for dads but i had no where else to get advice also moms matter too as my son lives with his dad and i have only seen him 4 times in 4 years. I have applied for a child arrangement order i had my telephone appointment with cafcass it went to court this month for the first hearing as routine cafcass did safeguarding police checks on myself my sons dad. 12 and 13 years ago i was arrested for assault and battery also reprimand i was 13. When i was 22 i got with a violent ex partner my son witnessed him assaulting me but then i had no choice but to cally sons dad to have him while i escape the violent relationship he then took care of him. My violent ex partner accused me of 3 serious accusations against me in june and august 2015 as there was no evidence all 3 were dropped. So to get to the point cafcass have made me look like a violent person and my son could be emotionally and physically harmed by myself! I have 2 other sons not in my care they are under an sgo order with my mom 2 different cases i see them as mucj as i want no risk to them and i have in my care my 6 month old daughter no risk to her either. So where do i stand in all of this i am not with my violent ex partner anymore we have been apart now since december 2017 since then i have been to dv programmes, counselling, parenting courses yes children services were involved but they closed the case last year when my daughter was a month old. What baffles me is my son lives with his dad paternal grandad and paternal grandmother but my sons grandad was accused of holding indecent images of children and sexually assaulting a child but low risk to my son how is this possible and they are so quick to judge me any advice would be appreciated thank you.
Hi there
Everyone is welcome here, regardless of gender... and I absolutely agree that both parents matter.
It’s the duty of CAFCASS to report to the court about any past history of involvement with police and local authorities and to make recommendations to the court.
The court will take notice of what is in the report, but don’t always follow what is recommended, it will be up to you to put your case forward and to show the court that you are not a danger to your child. The fact that your baby has been left in your care should help, as will the fact that you have completed courses for DV and parenting.
Courts move very slowly and where there is a history of domestic violence they will be sure to investigate it thoroughly before making any decisions, it will sometimes seem that everything is against you, but stick at it and show them why you should be a part of your sons life and hopefully things will get better.
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