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Mumsnet……..
Anyone here heard about the commotion gathering about Mumsnet, M & S and F4J?
I want to point out one thing here to set the record straight before I get any backlash…..I am not a sexist and do not promote sexism in any way shape or form…..I am not a sympathiser to the Fathers4Justice or any other “radical†or “terrorist†termed group by the government or the real men-hating women’s groups out there.
I am just a father who has been on the receiving end of a vindictive ex who is sharing this to the other fathers out there who are being victimised and abused by their exes.
Statement over here is my two-pence worth…..
I occasionally read the F4J Facebook page to see if they are getting anywhere with Fathers Rights with our government. I do not or am not a member or agree with their actions, I simply sympathise with the plight of many fathers in similar fights to see their children as I am.
F4J have highlighted the Mumsnet forums as an anti-father / anti-male / sexist place and with the attitude branding all fathers with the same tarred brush from their own bad experiences with their exes.
If I’d been sexist or demeaning to a woman I would expect reprisals on here, either removed posts or even banned from the site, where as on Mumsnet it seems all women can say derogatory and libellous things about men and actually get away with it. Mumsnet even gets Politicians contributing occasionally. There are some truly horrible comments and statements about men / fathers and even male children.
F4J have contacted Mumsnet and they have been quite dismissive of their member’s comments. So they have contacted their main sponsor M & S with these comments and responses by Mumsnet’ s founder to which M & S seem to just dismiss the issue as not an issue they need to address. I’m sure if these were racist comments that they would take this much more seriously. Likewise if it was a site like Dadtalk slagging off the opposite [censored] that would also be addressed quickly. Having said that this site wouldn’t allow that sort of behaviours from its contributors or members anyway!!
So what about us Fathers that actually have been on the receiving end of false allegations and domestic abuse – violent or non-violent??
I have been a member of this forum for about a year or so, I have been on other forums in the past few years but this is where I have found an outlet to ask serious questions and get serious and helpful answers. Dadtalk has been a significant help to me on many levels, without the encouraging messages and answers to questions I have asked over the last year or so I’m not sure where I would be today, dribbling in a corner quite possibly!
It is frightening just how many fathers are out there in situations the same and much worse than mine was but with eerily similar issues with their ex’s. I could write my full story (I have somewhere here) and I would say that ¾ of the fathers on here could tell the same story……however this is not a story, this is real life and happening to us!
So here’s a question or two…….is it just us fathers here who have the issues? Or is it something more widespread. Postnatal Depression on the ex’s parts? Or is it we’re just all finding the nutty partners in life?
I know from my case that my ex does have medical health issues, although never diagnosed as PND the signs were absolutely classic PND if you ever saw it!
She now claims to have a brain issue in which fluids build up and put pressure on her brain when in stressful situations.
Funny how she can push me away for 2yrs after our son was born until I leave after when he was almost 2 ½ ….then within 15 months of me leaving she has found and then married her new fella oh and within a month of marrying him is pregnant again!!??? PS she’s 35 not a kid of 18 or any other stereotype you wish to add.
If I knew she had a brain issue I would certainly have been questioning why she was doing what she was doing…her family don’t see things the way I or normal people do!
I for one having read some of the Mumsnet forum comments about fathers, men and boys will not be shopping at M & S and have started raising this with colleagues and family also.
Why should these people get away with their hate inciting against good decent fathers, men and boys?
We men are called sexist pigs for any slight defamatory calling of women and would be not allowed to post such messages on here or anywhere else on the World-wide-web without fear of reprisals/punishment/criminal proceedings etc…
Put it in these terms……..if they were inciting racial hatred they’d be stopped…..so why not stop the gender hatred?!!!
:dry:
Not heard about this before, but the problem is when something, in this case mumsnet, becomes to big to manage effectively - M&S are in a tricky position because their original intentions in sponsoring the site were probably quite noble, but now if they pull out, the negative publicity would be very bad commercially, so they are rather stuck, though I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't having a few words behind the scenes.
It is quite funny how fathers protesting for fathers rights to see their kids has not been on any TV news but there was plenty about the education fees protests!
I think there may have been something in the papers but seems to be local papers rather than the big tabloids. Are the F4J now classed as criminals and terrorists so they can’t raise their issues?
What happened to freedom of speech? Oh I remember we’re separated fathers and not single mothers or minorities allowed to say and do what they want.
Moderators please feel free to Delete if you need to….no offence intended just frustration of being a white british guy who can no longer say his piece without being branded sexist / racisit or what ever else you wish to think of us men. It is nothing of the kind….its not about [censored] / class / race / where you come from etc… its about what’s right and wrong! And right now this country is failing the children and fathers very badly.
I wish I was brave enough to stand up and fight for my rights as a father but I don’t want to be branded as sexist / classist / racist or whatever other name you want to brand me with……so I’ll step back off my soap box and continue my fight the legal route, incurring many thousands of pounds of debt due to being in a reasonable job.
I’m a 40yr old father to a 4 1/2yr old boy who is my world and is being prevented from having a loving relationship with me by his mother…... personally I think it’s a jealousy thing….i think she thinks if she stops him from seeing me regularly then he will always love her more than me! I think its her insecurities that are behind this whole farce!
Sorry guys……I’m being a very grumpy middle-aged man today……delete if you wish I’ve vented my steam build up.
Your observations are not wrong chap, I started looking or support forums for Dads 14 years ago and there were a few around. The position I was in regarding access has not changed much. When I view discussions about it online now I see arguments I forwarding back then. This includes my solicitor poinitng out that I need to keep an eye on expenditure as my ex could use Legal Aid to drag out proceedings beyond anything I could afford - (looking back that was his way of saying "make sure you can pay me"). The CSA has been tamed a little now and the calculations are easier and less open to 'interpretation' by the case worker. The two opposties arguing about how to achieve anything seem to be Onlydads.org and F4J. I am wondering what the women will have David Cameron saying on Fathers day, that WILL feature on those sites - do you think David realises that? Did come accorss this though haven't had the chance to look online at what M&S say. One last thought ; is it worth M&S stocking Fathers day stuff ?
oops, file too large, here is the link to the stuff I saw, cheers.
http://www.mumsnet-thenakedtruth.com/
The problem seems to be a few individuals that are making the comments. To be fair to mumsnet, I think they are a very large forum and that makes it extremely difficult to moderate effectively without killing it completely, so a few individuals can post offensive comments which will remain for a while - from the link you have just posted, it seems that the moderators are removing the posts, so they are trying to keep on top of it. In addition, if a father is abusive or violent to his children and wife, he may go on F4J and give his point of view which may be a long way from the truth, and he will get a sympathetic ear from other fathers who don't know all of the facts behind the case - if a father is prevented from seeing his children, the courts usually have a good reason for doing so, but they do get it wrong sometimes, and abusive and manipulative fathers do get access to their children, sometimes unsupervised, when for the children's sake, they really shouldn't.
As with all walks of life, a few extreme individuals can ruin something for the vast majority of decent people. There can be no doubt that there are some bad mums out there as well as some bad dads, but the vast majority of both are not.
I am a moderator on a forum for the BMW C1 - if you go onto the forum, you would think that it is an appalling bike as the forum is full of things going wrong and the solutions. The problem is that not many people go onto the forum to say "my C1 is running perfectly, I don't need any assistance" so you don't hear about the cases where everything is running smoothly - those are the silent majority.
That is always the issue - people are happy to post on forums thinkgs that arent good.
Just look at Trip Advisor!!
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